Legend of Zelda and the Tower of Darkness
by Fulcon
Summary: Mike has always had pointy ears, and he hates it because it earned him the nickname 'Elf'. But one day, a golden triangle appears on his hand, and he realizes that he is the Hero of Hyrule reborn and now he has to live up to his destiny...or does he?
1. Attack at Coney Island

_Legend of Zelda and all characters residing are the intellectual property of Shigeru Miyamoto and Nintendo. _

* * *

"Mike! Get up!" Mike's mom yelled from the down stairs. "It's time for school!"

Mike, a seventeen year old teenager who was currently slumped over his bed with his arm hanging down, groaned. He forced his eyes open to look at his alarm clock that was sitting on a night stand a few measly inches from his head. _Six thirty? Dang._

He slowly rolled out of bed, landing on his back on the floor of his bedroom. He slowly stood up, running his hair through his greasy, yellow hair. Blinking several times in rapid succession, he looked over to his mirror.

His mirror was a simple, full body mirror, about five feet in length and a foot and a half wide and framed in black plastic. His reflection, which was him in his black boxers, rippled with muscles. He always found that a little odd, since he pursued no sporting activities to speak of, aside from the occasional acrobatics. _But I was always like that…weird... and I was able to do a perfect back flip at age three…_

Of course that oddity hardly compared (in Mike's view) to his ears. They were pointed, angled and rather long, about two inches, making him look like an elf.

"Mike! Get up and get down here!" His mom shouted again.

"I'm up!" Mike yelled back, looking around his room in a panic. He swiftly grabbed a pair of dark, blue jeans and slipped them on quickly. Then he bolted out his room, grabbing a dark green t-shirt and putting it on as he ran down the stairs.

Stopping at the landing, he threw open the closet door that resided just on the landing, and grabbed his black tennis shoes and stuffed the socks he kept in them on his feet. _Sure, they smell because I do that, but who cares? It means I never have to look for them because their always _there.

He, having sat down to tie his shoes, jumped up, and quickly searched his pockets. _Now where's that…ah! Here it is!_

Mike reached into his back pocket, and pulled out his wallet. It was a small, black thing, about the size of his hand without the fingers, but it did its job.

"Do you have your lunch money?" Mike turned and saw his mother. She was looking over the counter that separated the kitchen from the front room, her grayish yellow hair tied up in a bun to keep from getting into her face.

"Yup!" Mike responded as he opened the front door.

"Car keys?" His mom's voice was somewhat muffled now that there was a closed door between the two.

"Yeah, mom!" Mike answered running to the drive way.

Resting on the concrete drive way was a pair of vehicles. One, the closest to Mike, was a sleek blue Ferrari, courtesy of his father's very successful web site. It listed many charities, had many forums, a place where people could put projects…and it was funded by many advertisers. This was his parent's car.

The other car was a beat up, old dark green minivan that his mom used to drive. The hood had many dings in it, and the passenger side door looked as if it was smashed in and then _almost_ returned back to shape. This was Mike's car.

_It was a very good deal, and it gets good mileage, _Mike thought as he surveyed the thing his parents gave him for his birthday, six months ago. _Yeah, right._

Mike hurried over to his van, jumped in the passenger side and slid over into the driver's seat. _Now we begin our journey to purgatory…also known as High school._

* * *

_Here we are! Right on time,_ Mike thought, as he walked up the stair case to the school. The school was a massive building; made up of red bricks…the main door had an arch way over the glass, see-through entry way.

Inside, he found a bustling student body, all hurrying to whichever classes they had to go, all trying to avoid being late.

The main room was a large, almost perfect square, aside from the stair cases on the sides and the hallways that started out at the end, making it more like a bumpy, fat 'T'.

There were some students; however that were meandering about over by their lockers, located in the 'T' corridors.

_How much time do I have left?_ Mike thought to himself, stopping in the middle of the room to check his watch. In digital numbers it said _6:54_. _Wow, not a whole lot of time left before first period._

Mike, seeing that he only had six minutes before he had to get to class so he could avoid detention, ran. He dodged in and out of the crowd of students, and bolted down the left hallway.

It was pretty much deserted, except for one or two students getting stuff from their lockers. Mike slid on the tiled floor of the hallway, and braced himself against his own locker, stopping with a _bang _of flesh against metal. In a flash, he entered the combination and opened the door. _Okay…need my bag, my notebook, my science book and my calculator._

As soon as he had stuffed what he needed in his bag, he slammed his locker door shut and darted off. _Okay…ack! Only two minutes left until I get…_

He ran down another, adjoining hallway, dodging a person as he did. Then he turned left, and kept going. At the end of the hallway, he saw a group of students clustered together, wearing uniforms of matching colors resembling football jerseys and cheerleader uniforms.

"Hey, look guys, it's the Elf!" Came the voice of Vlad 'The Brick' Stones from the group ahead.

_Just ignore them…just ignore them…_Mike chanted in his head as a vein came close to popping in his forehead. Before he got to the end of the hall, he swung inside the door to classroom nine. _Made it!_

All the desks inside were full, aside for one, which belonged to Mike. He made his way down the aisle and sat down at his desk. Looking up, he saw that the teacher, Mr. Brorio, a tall, pale man, with brown hair that solely occupied the space just above his ears, was standing there with his eyes closed.

_Okay, Mr. Brorio…if that is your real name, I'm here, _Mike thought as he reached down for his note pad and slapped it on his desk. _And I'm ready to doodle myself to dreamland while you babble on and on about science and physics and crap._

* * *

The lunch room, as Mike found when he walked in, was packed with students. There were people waiting in line at the lunch ladies counter to have the daily slop poured onto their tray. There were also people sitting down at the tables, chatting with their friends. _At least I think, there's an awful lot of people standing up here…can't see anything. _Mike thought, standing in line himself.

Soon, he came up to the window with which the Lunch Ladies served the daily slop. _And it is _always _slop, no matter what day it is, with no differences. No slump, no goop, no nothing else. Just slop. A little variation would be nice…_

As it was, he still cringed in disgust as it gooped from the serving ladle in the lunch ladies hands and onto his tray, then he moved out of line after grabbing a carton of milk and a plastic fork. _Alright, now where is everyone…ah, there they are!_

Sitting at their traditional table, was Mike's three only friends. Jerome was a boy in Mike's year, whose dark hair was combed down, and he wore the biggest pair of glasses that Mike had ever seen. The second, sitting right next to Jerome, was Elizabeth or 'Lizzy', a girl in senior year with tan skin, long brunette hair and a very nice body. She was also Jerome's _girlfriend_. One would wonder how Jerome managed to score so big…until you learned that Lizzy was an extremely skilled computer wiz who loved _brains_. _She's also one of the best D&D players I've ever seen…_

The last one, an African American named Jeff. He was tall, had a lot of muscles and loved football. He was in his senior year and him and Mike have been friends since his first year in Middle School, and Mike, along with Jerome and Lizzy, were trying to teach him how to play D&D…and he liked the _concept_ of being an awesome axe-swinging Half-Orc barbarian who cleaved his way past several armies at once, but he found the _creation_ of said barbarian a little tedious. But they got past _that_ little mile stone yesterday, and they were ready to start the adventure.

"S'up, guys?" Mike asked, walking up to the table. He bonked fists with Jeff as he returned the greeting.

"Okay, so we're all here?" Jerome asked his voice quick as if he was nervous. His glasses almost slipped off his face before being expertly pushed back up the bridge of his nose. "Whose turn was it to bring the books?"

"I got 'em in my bag." Lizzy answered, gesturing to the bag that sat nestled by her feet. She bent down, and unzipped it, and pulled out a square of folded board. "Got the board too."

The game board was white, with black ink to out line the square spaces. Lizzy also dropped the small miniature people that stood on small, plastic disks. The game pieces included a Dwarf Paladin that used a great sword, an Elf Sorcerer, a Human Monk and a Half-Orc duel axe wielding Barbarian.

Mike grabbed his miniature, the Dwarf Paladin examining it. With a satisfied smirk, he set it on the board in front of him. _I love bucking tradition._

But before the group could get started, Mike felt something cold and goopy hit the back of his head. Mike wretched it out of his hair, and looked at the clump of slop in his hand with a snarl, as a group from one of the other tables burst out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it." Mike turned and saw the Line backer, still in his jacket said between laughs. The Line backer, Jim, actually sat with a couple of other people aside from his team, like a band geek and a Video Game Geek, all whom Mike failed to recall the names of were laughing too. "His ears are like _goal posts_."

Mike, in turn, threw it back, and it hit Jim in the face hard enough to knock him off his seat. He turned back to his friends. Jerome, Lizzy and Jeff were looking at Mike critically. There was a pause.

"What?" Mike asked.

"Hold the phone," Jeff spoke, finally. He sounded a little confused. "How come you've never tried out for any sports teams? You could make the Foot Ball team _easy _with an arm like that."

Mike paused for a second. He found it a bit odd that Jerome just noticed this…then it occurred to Mike that he hasn't been all that heavy in using his physique all that often…sports bored him to no end, and he saw gym as useless to him, as he was always in tip-top physical condition. "It's because I wouldn't be able to stand my _teammates_. You being the exception."

"Ah, come on, man…they wouldn't _dare_ make fun of our star player…at least not after he joined up..." Jeff pressed.

"No-"

"G-guys, we're playing a game here," Jerome interrupted quickly, pushing his glasses up his nose again.

"Right, so where were we-" Mike began to ask, but a yell stopped him.

"_FOOD FIIIGHT!_" That was Jim, again. And after he yelled that, Mike felt _another _glop of slop hit the back of his head.

Chaos erupted at this. Mike threw his _own_ glop of slop at Jim _alongside_ the one that was previously stuck to the back of his head. The first one hit Jim dead centre in the chest, but the second one went wide…and hit _The Brick_ in the face.

The whole cafeteria took this as a cue to do something productive with their lunch instead of letting it sit around like the inedible lump of clay that it was; throw it around like chimpanzees. Jerome and Lizzy fled under the lunch table, while Mike and Jeff stayed up to enjoy the fight. Mike was using this as an excuse to get back at everyone at school who made fun of him…Jeff was just enjoying a fun sport.

* * *

"This is your fault, dummy."

"Shut up. It's not _my _fault your head looks like a goal post."

Mike and Jim, being the one's who _started_ the food fight in the first place, were assigned to clean the large room up. They had just started this duty, and the slop had hardened while they were finishing the school day, so the two were trying to use enlarged scrapers to scrape the crap off of stuff…starting with the tables, so they could be put away. "Dude, I know it's hard to come up with insults using that tiny brain of yours, but could use find one that _doesn't_ use my ears? They've suffered enough."

"You want a knuckle sandwich, Stupid?" Jim snarled. The sound of his scraper stopped.

"There, you _see?_" Mike continued, letting go of his scraper and turning around. He saw Jim standing up to his full height and looking down at him, his fists clenched. Mike continued anyway. "I knew ya had it in ya."

"Boys! Back to work!" That was Vice Principle Jared. He was a tall man, and had long black hair that he kept tied in a pony tail. His eyebrows were thick and angled similarly to a cat. And Mike was very sure that the rumors of Jared being able to smell fear were absolutely accurate.

Grunting their compliance, the two went back to scraping the tables bare. _Well, at least I got the last word in…_

It was dull work…Mike and Jim were scraping off different tables that were across the room from each other. Mike was actually half-way done with his table…Jim looked as if he was just starting…though that was probably because Jim was focusing all his effort on the benches that were connected to the tables.

It was then that Mike felt an odd…prickle on the back of his left hand. It itched. He tried his best to ignore it…but it wouldn't go away. Actually, it just got _worse_. The prickle spread across his hand…he tried rubbing it against a rough surface made by dried slop, but no avail.

"Michael, do you need to go to the nurse?" Jared had noticed Mike scratching and itching.

"Maybe…" Mike answered, scratching his left hand incessantly. _I feel like I got the chicken pox or something._

"Wait, what's going on?" Jim asked, looking over at Mike. He saw him trying to scratch his left hand off…silent, for once. Then…it was as if something clicked. "Going to the nurse's office, _Link_?"

_What…the heck? _Mike thought, rather confused. "Explain stupid-speak to the poor and confused normal person."

"I thought you were a Consol Nut," Jim stated, his grin getting wider before sitting down to continue scraping.

_What does my being a Consol Nut have anything to do with that?_ "Uhhh…I think I need to get home, _actually_," Mike answered. _Oh, please, please, please let this be one of those things that let's you out of detention early. Please!_

"You can go after you finish scraping that table down." Jared responded flatly. "An itch ain't all that serious…ignore it."

_Dang,_ Mike thought as he went back to scraping, the pricking in his hand now almost too _painful _levels. Almost, but not quite. So he sped up his scraping, putting all of his muscle power behind it. He may have taken some bits off of the table when he did this, but he didn't care. He needed to scratch his itch. _Badly._ "Done!"

Jared looked up from the magazine he had been reading, and stood up. He came over to Mike's table, very slowly. Too slowly, in Mike's opinion. He started scratching his hand again.

The Vice Principle examined the table, his eyes wide. He took careful note of the bits of the table gone. "Okay…you put that table away over there, and then you can go home."

Mike nodded quickly, and began pushing the table toward the storage closet, the metal under the table screeching in protest as it ran across the tiled floor of the cafeteria.

"Hold on, you gotta fold it up first!" Jared yelled over the din.

"Right, sorry!" Mike was in too much of a hurry to care all that much anyway, but he flipped the table to stand on its end, and folded the benches underneath the table, and picked that up, holding it by the sides. He put it away quickly, and before anyone could say anything else, Mike was out the door.

_Ah, sweet relieve…well sorta, but I don't care right now I gotta-_ Mike thought in a rush, running down the hallway and scratching his hand at the same time.

As soon as he was out of the school, he saw that only three cars remained in the parking lot, one of them being his van. _Okay…now I just gotta get home…I just gotta ignore the itch while I'm driving. Yeah…I can do that._

* * *

On the contrary, the drive home did not go well at all. Mike, due to his hands non-stop itching lost grip on the steering wheel for half a second while in a busy intersection. Was almost an accident, but Mike's reflexes saved him. When he got home, however, his parents were waiting for him.

"Michael Alexander D'Angelo!" Him mom exploded the moment he got through the door.

Mike's eye twitched as he turned around. "Yes, mom?"

"You started a food fight?!?" His mom, a short and plump woman with blonde hair that was always tied up in a bun, had apparently stood up when she shouted. The table could be seen in the back round…where his Dad was sitting. At the sound of his wife shouting about the food fight, Mike's Dad gave Mike a pair of thumbs up.

"No…Jim did," Mike answered, taking his eyes off his Dad before his Mom rounded on him. Then he added, in a quieter, grumbling, voice, "He said my ears looked like goal posts."

There was a snickering sound from across the room. Mike looked over his Mom over to the table, again, and saw his little brother, Alan. Alan had curly brown hair like his Dad...but his face was angled more like his mother, with sharp and slightly angled face structure. _He_ should've gotten the ears instead, Mike thought. _He's got the face and the disposition for them…_

"Oh…honey," His mothers face softened. "You shouldn't let people like that get to you…"

"Mike, are you okay?" Mike's Father joined the conversation officially. "You've been scratching that for the whole time you've been here."

"Huh?" Mike looked down at his hands…sure enough; the back of his hand was red from severe scratching. It almost looked as if the red skin was trying to form some sort of pattern… _But that would be _crazy_, wouldn't it?_ "No, no, no…I'm fine; I'm okay…just _wiped_ out from cleaning off tables for detention. I need to…to-to get to bed!"

Mike began backing up the stairs toward his room…before breaking into a run and slamming the door behind him. Side-stepping the giant T.V in his room (which was connected to his X-Box 360 and Wii), he slammed himself on his bed, scratching like a mad-man. _Okay, this is serious…I could have skin cancer or somethi-what the?_

He had stopped scratching his hand for a second to examine it. His hand should be all the way red…but the red part had taken a shape. The shape of three triangles, one standing on the tips of the other two. Mike scratched a couple more times, and it seemed like it had gotten more prominent. _Holy-what is-how the heck?_

Bracing for a final time, he scratched his hand like he wanted to cut it with his nails. He felt his fingers bump up and down as he went over the lines of the imprint. When he finished, his hand let loose a violent flash of blinding light. _Agh!_

It took Mike a few seconds for his eyes to readjust to the light, but when he did finally see what his hand had_…Holy-_

On his hand was a, as Mike could only describe it, a triangle made up of the _purest_ of gold that sat in the bottom left Triangle, leaving the other two tattoos black charcoals. He rubbed the triangle with his hand…it was as if it was grafted to his hand. _It's in my hand…_He though, moving his left fingers for the first time in ten minutes. _But I can still move my hand_.

_Somehow, I have this sickening feeling that what Jim called me has something to do with this…_Mike thought in horror as he sat down at the computer in his room. He turned it on and typed 'L-I-N-K' in the Google page once he had it up. He was greeted by several images..._And their all pictures of an Elf in a green tunic with a sword and shield. _

He clicked on one, and looked at the features…it was then that something dawned on him. _He looks just like me!_ Pushing the back button, he clicked on the online _Wiki_ entry. Upon reading a little bit, he came to another conclusion. _No…he _is_ me! But-but-but…how is that possible? HOW? Right down to the… (What is it again?) Triforce on the hand! I'm left-handed, he's left handed…_ "Oh my gosh," Mike moaned, running his hand through his golden locks. "Oh _no_."

_Maybe I'm freaking about nothing. Maybe it's just a crazy dream…_Mike thought as a twinge of optimism entered his soul. He pinched his cheek, and flinched when a sharp pain resounded from the left side of his face. _Nope, not dreaming…at least now I know where the ears came from._

"Mike!" Mrs. D'Angelo called from the other side of Mike's bedroom door. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm _fine_!" Mike answered, eyeing the golden triangle in his hand. "The itching stopped…I'm fine."

"Well, would you like to come down for dinner?" His Mom asked.

Mike froze. _No, I would _not _like to come down for dinner while I have a block of solid gold grafted into my hand, thank you. _Then his stomach rumbled._ Well, never mind. Yes I would…_ "Ummmm…can I wear gloves?"

"Why?" Mrs. D'Angelo sounded confused.

"Oh, no reason…" Mike answered, pulling a glove onto his hand anyway. Then he selected a different glove when he saw the impression of the triangle through his first glove. "Just…fashion statement?"

"Well…alright. But just for tonight, alright?" Mrs. D'Angelo sounded unsure of her decision herself.

Mike wasn't about to let her say no. Rushing out the door, he ran downstairs. "_Great!_ I'm starving, what's for dinner?"

"Meatloaf!" Mike's mom called down after her son.

Mike hurriedly took his usual seat at the table, with his father to his right, and his mom to the left. His brother sat directly across from him, his eyes wide at Mike's rapid approach. "Jeez, Mike!"

"I'm _hungry_," Mike grumbled with a tone that indicated that no argument could or would be made.

"What's with the glove?" Alan asked, looking at Mike's left hand.

"It's a fashion statement," Mike answered, dropping his gloved hand below the table. _Alright, _fine. _I'll try eating Right handed tonight_.

Dinner consisted of Meat Loaf, Green beans, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy. Mike hurriedly dished himself up a sizable portion of each, smothering his mashed Potatoes in gravy. _I love Mom's gravy…and Meatloaf_.

"So…" It was Mike's Father who spoke. "Why the glove, Michael?"

"Uhhh…" Mike looked down at his hand. He had grabbed his fork with his left hand out of habit, rather than with the right as he intended to do this evening. "Fashion Statement?"

"Really? Is that what all the kids are doing at school now?" Mr. D'Angelo asked, rising an eyebrow.

"Uh….yeah! It's a…it's a big craze." Mike lied, smiling and closing his eyes.

"I bet he got a tattoo," Alan remarked, suddenly, facing up from his dinner, which he was just playing with. "Mom, can _I_ get a tattoo?"

"I did not!" Mike responded immediately, a little louder than necessary.

"No, you can't get a tattoo, _Alan_." Mom answered.

"But _Mike _got one!" Alan adopted his 'whining face', which involved sticking out his lower lip and adopting _bambi eyes_. "I promise I'll eat my dinner every single night if I do?"

"I did not!" Mike responded again.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Boys! _Boys_!" Mr. D'Angelo stepped in on the argument, his face looking a little angry. "Mike, did you get a tattoo?"

"_No_," Mike answered, looking his father in the eye. "_I did not get a tattoo. I swear._"

Mike's Dad looked at him for a couple seconds longer, and then… "_Well,_ that's good enough for me."

Mike sighed with relief internally. _That was close…I almost put off the family trip to Coney Island with a Doctor visit to get rid of the…Tri-fork thingy._

The family trip to Coney Island was something the D'Angelo's did once a year. They all piled up in the car and went to Coney Island. _Mike_ knew it as something else entirely: _Prize/Candy Jackpot of Winning and Awesome Day_. He had discovered about when he was thirteen that he had perfect hand-eye coordination…_another_ thing that should've endeared him to sports…but most sports require other people to play them and Mike doesn't like most other people…the few people he was friends with (aside from Jeff) couldn't throw a football to save their lives, so Mike endeared himself to playing a Dwarf Paladin named _Hrothgar_ every lunch hour. _Most fun I've ever had, once I learned how to play._

In fact, Mike's become somewhat infamous around Coney Island: The faculty has taken it upon themselves to make each of their games subtly harder every year in an effort to stump Mike…_it hasn't worked yet._

* * *

The next evening, Saturday, Mike was waiting outside, leaning on the door frame of his Dad's Ferrari with a big grin on his face. He was wearing a dark green base-ball cap that covered the points of his ears, and he was wearing a pair of dark brown leather gloves, a new addition. But other than that, he was wearing blue jeans and a red t-shirt.

"Come on, I'm tired of waiting!" Mike yelled toward his house, his cheerfulness permeating his voice. _Why does it always take Alan so long to get his jackets on?_

Then the rest of the family exited the house, Alan was rubbing a white foamy thing on his face. His mother asked; "Alright, are we all ready?"

Mike nodded vigorously. "Yeah-yeah-yeah!"

Alan just kept rubbing his face. Looking up, his face was that of disappointment. "Can we just get going now?"

"Yep, and I'll drive if that will save us time!" Mike volunteered, opening the Ferrari door in the driver seat and diving to the wheel. Then Mike's dad came 'round to the driver's side.

"Mike, what are you doing?" His dad asked after a couple of seconds.

"…driving," Mike said weakly.

Dad blinked a couple of times, _and then_… "Mike, get out of my seat."

The Elf-like teenager groaned in disappointment. "_Please_, just this once?"

"Nope."

"Aw, come on-"

"_No_, no _come on_s," Mike's dad was insistent. Mike groaned again with disgust but complied, leaving the driver seat, and walking over to one of the back seat passenger doors and sitting down next to Alan. All the while, his Dad was speaking. "If I let you drive it today, you'll end up driving it all the time, and that means I'll be stuck with you're mother's old trashy van to get to work."

"Hey!" His mom, now in the passenger seat up in front. "I liked that van!"

"Now, Doreen…"

"No don't _Doreen me_-"Doreen, began.

"Can we just get going please?" Mike asked, bouncing up and down as far as his seat-belt would let him. "I wanna get there before all the prizes are gone!"

"You mean before you take them all…" Alan grumbled.

"Well, _what else_ would I mean?" Mike asked, making it sound as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"_Alright, _alright. We're going," Michael Sr. said, looking back and at the rear view mirror.

_Super-candy-fun-time here I come!_ Mike thought with joy.

* * *

Mike walked off the Ferry with an even smugger grin than he had walked on with. The guy admitting people on the ship had recognized him. Mike was in his territory. Bidding his parents and little brother farewell, he immediately caught the eye of the kiosk worker that was working at his first stop: _Ring Toss_.

She was an Asian woman, looked to be in her mid twenties. She had just finished with a pair of little kids, giving them consolation prizes to them for their hard work.

As Mike walked toward the stall, he was very rudely shoved aside. "Move it, Elf." It was Vlad, here with his girlfriend Vanessa from the Cheerleading squad. He stepped up to the kiosk. "Which one would you like?" His question was perhaps the sweetest tone he had ever heard Vlad deliver.

Mike didn't think he had it in him.

Vanessa, a blonde girl about six heads shorter than Vlad, (not that hard, Vlad was over seven feet tall) pointed to one of the stuffed animals, a big, fluffy panda bear that hung from the upper portion of the stall.

Vlad was given three plastic rings to throw onto a series of bottle necks that stood on a table behind the counter. Vlad threw one ring and missed, the ring falling between the cracks. Grunting, he threw another one: This one actually bounced off the lip of the bottle on the tip. Grunting even louder, he threw the final ring, this one actually landed dead center on the middle ring.

The Kiosk worker smiled and said "Congratulations! Here's your prize."

Vlad took the panda and handed it to Vanessa, and then he turned around and said to Mike; "Beat that."

"Okay, I will," Mike took the challenge in stride, walking up to the counter. "Here's a dollar, now hand me my rings, I'd like to get started on my yearly conquest."

The Kiosk worker smiled and took the Dollar. After she handed Mike his rings, she grabbed the small walkie-talkie on her uniform and whispered; "The ranger is at the rings. Repeat: _The ranger is at the rings_."

Mike's smile was the biggest it had been all day. _This is better than I hoped for!_

"Ten-Four, Ty Lee, we read you. Has _Ranger_ thrown any yet?" Came a voice from the receiver. It was male, and sounded deep.

Mike was close to laughing. _Well, since I know I'm being monitored, I should put on a show, shouldn't I._ So without a word, he grabbed his three rings. Aiming carefully, he launched all three at the bottles.

His aim was true. All three rings sunk onto bottle necks as if they had been magnetized there. Mike heard 'Ty Lee' responding.

"Affirmative, control…he threw all three," Was the reply, seeming really irritated. "And all landed."

Mike looked over the counter for more prizes. Inside, he spotted a red wagon, with shining paint and a long, black handle. "Can I have the wagon?"

"Yes, you can have the wagon," Ty Lee answered, lifting the wagon by its axle and handing it over to Mike. "Intel was right: He took the wagon."

Mike then walked past a stunned Vlad and Vanessa, wagon in tow. _Now…where am I going next? Ooh, let's go to the dunk tank! It looks like someone I _know_ is in the tank!_

With a dopey, child-like smile, he strode off toward that one game, fully prepared to take every prize the island had to offer.

* * *

"So, how was everyone's night?" Mike walked toward his parents and brother, all seated at a bench situated so as to look at the coast line. In tow was his wagon, loaded with candy and prizes…one would wonder how it was balancing like that, with a pile so high.

"Great, son. Really great," His Dad answered with a smile that was barely visible in the current lighting.

Mike looked over to his brother, who seemed almost asleep. _Think Alan had a good time?_ "What about you, Alan? Enjoy the roller coasters?"

"Yeah, they were _great_…" Alan's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

_Wait…weird, I always thought Alan loved roller coasters…_ "You want some candy? I got _tons_."

Alan perked up immediately. "Boy do I _ever_!"

"Which one would you like?" Mike asked, gesturing to his wagon.

"Got any cotton candy?" Alan asked excitedly.

_Apparently, he's been wanting me to share…_ "By the boat loads!" Mike grabbed a whole plastic bag filled with cotton candy; strawberry flavored, and tossed it into Alan's lap.

"Mike, you're giving Alan a whole bag of cotton candy?" Doreen asked critically.

"Mom-"Mike began, but was cut off.

"Don't have any consideration for the people who _raised_ you?" Michael Sr. asked in a fake shocked tone.

Mike chuckled and tossed his parents a pair of bags. They tore into the bags with as much ferocity as Alan. _Nothing like an ending to a Conquest as healthy as this one like enjoying a bag of cotton candy with ones folks._

Suddenly, just as Mike opened his bag, there was a big explosion. Twirling around in his seat, he saw that the Ferris wheel was going up in flames. It tipped over quickly.

"Oh my-" Doreen's last word was drowned out by the crowd.

There were screams and yells as panic ensued. Another explosion…again where the Ferris wheel was. Now occupying the space the Ferris wheel once stood upon was a massive…_black hole _that was decorated with intricate, golden designs which almost looked like Egyptian hieroglyphs.

"What _is_ that?" Alan asked, his eyes wide and bag of cotton candy forgotten. "_That's so _cool _Mom_!"

"Not now, honey. We need to get out of here!" Doreen _picked_ _up_ the six year old, and began running to the Ferry.

"Mike, come on!" Michael Sr. beckoned his son to follow.

"But…I-my loot…" Mike was struggling to go back and drag his wagon to the ferry. He decided against it with a loud grunt, and ran to catch up.

Looking over at the Black Hole he saw…_things_ come out. He couldn't make them out from the distance, but they seemed to be brandishing clubs…or _swords_.

Suddenly, instead of yelling out '_terrorists_' or '_gangs_', the crowd of people all rushing toward the ferry were now yelling '_Monsters!_'

_Monsters?!?_ Mike thought, stopping for a second while thinking. It was the worst thing he could've done. He was knocked down and trampled underfoot. _Ow…that really hurt_, Mike thought looking up. He saw his mom, her hand outreached to try and get Mike to get up.

"Mike, get up!" His mom yelled, fighting the crowd. "Get up!"

But she was swept away by the crowd, and a large shadow grew, blocking out the little light that Mike could see bye. Looking up, he saw a large, armored thing; mounted on a large warthog…_I don't even think _horses _can get that big_!

The armored thing then reached down and plucked Mike off the ground. He held Mike to eye level. Through the visor of it's helmet, Mike could see a pair of _glowing red eyes_. "Hi," he said weakly.

Mike didn't here it's response, as he was suddenly preoccupied with a splitting headache… before finally falling unconscious.

* * *

_Authors Notes: Here, we are: The Tower of Darkness rewrite! Yes, I know it's long, but I hope it's a lot better than the previous first chapter._

_Anyway, this fic got pulled down because it had Shigeru Miyamoto in it. I'm very sad I couldn't include him in this version; he added such _depth_ to the fic._

_Also, please tell me if you spot any grammar errors, and tell me how this holds up to the original Tower_. _The reason I didn't simply repost the old version was due to my computer crashing, so those documents aren't available to me. T_T_


	2. Detection

_I do not own Legend of Zelda…_

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Deep in the slums of Tokyo, stood a lone figure in a trench coat. He looked about 5'6 tall, a height that was bolstered by a couple inches with the light brown Trilby hat he wore on his head. He looked up and too the sides and grunted. The heavy rain was not doing his mood any favors, it was soaking his coat, and him by extension. By now, he had been out long enough to be soaked to the bone, which he was.

He checked his watch. It showed _11:30 pm_ in digital numbers, as well as on the three sets of hands that were built behind the transparent glass that sheltered the watches inner mechanisms from the water. _C'mon, Jasdodo…I've been waiting here for two hours._ He thought, checking the road for any sign of his appointment.

This man, who was so grumpily standing in the cold rain, was Detective Yamada Taro of the Tokyo Police Force. His appointment, a long-time friend of his named Jasdodo, was very late.

Yamada checked the road again and groaned, fishing a Cell Phone from his coat pocket. _I swear, if you pick up and you're not on your way here, I'm going to shoot you when you get here…well, maybe not when you get here. When you drop me off. There we go._

He dialed furiously, his fingers slipping several times due to how numb they were, but when he finally dialed the correct number, he held the speaker to his ear. Some one picked up. "_Hello_?" The voice of Jasdodo came clear across the cell phone. Alongside his voice was a pair of individual groans…that sounded female.

"It's Yamada," The Detective introduced himself gruffly.

"Hey, man, how's it going?" Jasdodo asked, a little put off by the tone. More groaning beside him.

"Do you remember what time you were supposed to pick me up?" Yamada asked irritably.

"9:30, I got it. I'll pick you up in time, don't worry," Jasdodo replied.

"What time is it now?" Yamada had the faintest impression that he had to shout get over the noise of Jasdodo's two girlfriends. Twins, actually. He ignored it, though.

"Uhhh…uh-oh," Jasdodo then realized he was late, Yamada surmised. Little busy with Rika and Sora. Jasdodo probably tried to cover the speaker, but didn't cover it all the way, so Yamada heard this: "Uh, Girls? Sorry, I forgot I gotta go pick up a friend of mine."

"What?" Said one, sounding disappointed. The other one groaned in disgust. "Jazzy…"

"Don't worry, when I come back, I'll hit you twice as hard. Deal?" Yamada couldn't take anymore after that, and hit the off button.

_Jasdodo, if you hadn't helped me nab that serial killer, and if you weren't helping me now, I'd pump a shell into your head…_Yamada thought in disgust. _Though it probably wouldn't do anything to that empty head of yours._

Yamada kicked the cement under his feet once, and then resigned to waiting again. He looked at his watch. _I'm already late for our drug dealer friend…if we make him wait any longer, he might give up and bolt._

After a few minutes longer of waiting, a flash of light appeared to Yamada's left. That light separated into two lights, and Jasdodo pulled up in his car, popping the passenger side door open. Yamada quickly climbed in and buckled his seat belt. "Having a good time, were we?

"I was, actually," Jasdodo was a little taller than Yamada, but only by a couple inches. His hair was always in onyx spikes and he always wore a dark suit. "Sorry for making you late, though."

"I'd worry about catching my drug dealer," Yamada answered irritably as he took off his hat. His thick hair was combed back and his eyes were the sharpest shade of blue you've ever seen. "If he bolted, than you'd _better_ be sorry."

"Don't worry, we'll get him," Jasdodo replied, shifting his car into reverse and backing up. "I've been late before."

"By two hours?" Yamada asked critically.

"Three, one time," Jasdodo answered smoothly, adjusting the gear to _drive_, and then hitting the gas. "But he understands; He knows the ladies love me."

"Yeah, I can tell…" Yamada said icily, trying to forget the embarrassing things he heard over the phone. "Look, let's just go get this guy, and then after that…"

"You head over to the precinct and I get back to the twins, gotcha," Jasdodo sounded more cheerful now.

"Yes…" Yamada then decided that talking to Jasdodo while he was mad at him would do no good, so he remained silent.

So he watched the buildings go by, the sky scrapers simply appearing as spokes off of the ground. They passed in a blur, Yamada having entered a trance. _Just get in, buy the bong, and then arrest everyone in sight. Simple as that. Just get in, buy the bong, and then arrest everyone in sight. Simple as that…_

So he continued this way, silent as a corpse for the journey…until Jasdodo pulled into a Parking lot of a warehouse. "We're here."

"About time…" Yamada said, putting on his hat and stepping into the pouring rain. The warehouse stood between a pair of corporate business buildings, all of which was abandoned and forgotten. Yamada waited for Jasdodo to step out of the car before continuing.

Jasdodo also wore a Trilby hat, this one pitch black. "Alright, let's go meet our latest 'victims'."

Jasdodo, you see, used to be one of the head Lieutenants of a Yakuza gang…and still is, so they think. Actually, after Yamada and Jasdodo had met, the two became friends and Jasdodo saw the error of his ways. He's been helping the Police for about two months now, and he hasn't been ratted out yet, as the arrested members have yet to prove that Jasdodo was even _at_ the sight of the busts. Add that in with that Jasdodo is a _supposedly_ good friend of the head Yakuza boss, and he's untouchable.

"You sure you don't want to call in back-up before we go in?" Jasdodo asked over the pouring rain while straightening his suit.

"I'm doing that right now," Yamada answered, Dialing the precinct number. When the receptionist picked up, Yamada said "This is Detective Yamada, I'm at a probable drug dealer location, and I need back-up."

"Yes, sir," She answered, typing a lightning speed.

"Tell them I don't want any sirens blazing until the dealers make a break for it, but I want cops all around the building," Yamada continued. After telling her the address, he hung up. "Jasdodo, will you be able to sneak out of here alright?"

"I'll be _fine_," He replied with a confidant tone. "You just worry about getting the evidence, will you?"

When they got to the door, Jasdodo knocked three times in rapid succession on the metal door.

A small metal window slid open quickly…one meant only for eyes to see. "Who's there?"

"The Dodo Bird and his guest," Jasdodo said happily. "I believe you have a shipment for _me_ and stuff for newbie clients."

"_The Dodo Bird_? Right, sorry…I didn't recognize you. Let me get the door for you…" The man at the door had abandoned his tough guy act to adopt a 'yes man' attitude. When the door opened, he saw a guy in a kimono with a Samurai Sword at his belt. His face was adorned by many healed over cuts that told of many sword fights. He was also bald." Come in, come in…you'll freeze to death out here."

Yamada, as stepped in, removed his hat, but not his coat. Jasdodo did likewise, and took control of the proceedings. "We can get to my package in a few minutes, but I would like to accompany my dear friend through his first transaction, if you please."

"Of course, of course," the gangster bowed at the waist before leading them forward.

The interior of the warehouse was nothing like the outside. They were standing in a white hallway that was very well lit. There was another hallway that extended out to the right, but they just kept on going down the first hallway, passing through a pair of double doors and into a small room. The room was painted with Teal stripes, and there was a single table in the middle of the room. The only light available came from a lamp on the table and small window places on the back wall. There were two chairs at opposite sides of the t able.

Jasdodo beckoned for Yamada and the Gangster to sit down, him preferring to stand. _So he can sneak through the window and get to his car before back up arrives._

As was his custom before something illegal happened, Jasdodo slid into the dark shadows of the room. Yamada subtly activated the recorder in his phone. The gangster cleared his throat. He looked over to Jasdodo, whose nod from the shadows had adopted an ominous quality. "Okay, so this is all very simple…you give us the cash, and we give you a bag of _treats_. And we call the stuff we make _treats_ incase anyone is listening in from space or something. Now…do you have the cash?"

Yamada had pulled out a small box that he had carried in this jacket that contained enough cash for a pound of drugs. Jasdodo silently crawled over to the window behind the gangster and crawled out, walking into the shadows and out of sight.

When the gangster opened the box and started counting the money, Yamada looked out the back window. He saw a pair of people in blue uniforms going around, and saw Jasdodo sneak around them as only a shadow could.

He brought his attention to the gangster counting the money before he could finish. The gangster set aside the box of money and put a brown plastic bag on the table. Yamada examined the contents. _Yep…it's a bag of bong, alright._

"Alright…now there's just one last thing…" Yamada said, placing the bag beside his chair. Before the gangster could blink, Yamada grabbed his pistol from its holster inside his coat, and blasted the sword out of the Gangsters belt.

"WHAT THE HE-"The gangster yelled. But before he could finish, Yamada aimed the gun at the gangsters head.

"I'm Detective Yamada Taro, and you're both arrest," Yamada stated, standing up, waving his gun around as if to aim at both the gangster and Jasdodo…but Jasdodo was gone, just as Yamada knew. But he had to act like the whole this was a set up by Yamada alone, so he snapped the gun back on the gangster and asked; "Where'd Dodo go?"

The gangster just chuckled at Yamada's icy question. "Dude, no one can catch Dodo. He's invisible…_our shadow_."

"I don't think so…" Yamada said in a growl, though he knew that the gangster was right, and he didn't suspect a thing. He grabbed a walkie talkie and pressed the 'talk' button. "_Move in!_"

* * *

Yamada dodged his fellow police officers, presenting the Chief with the bag of drugs that he had purchased to be used as evidence. "Good work Yamada."

"My pleasure, chief," Yamada replied, smiling.

"See you at the bar?" The chief called from his own police cruiser.

"Nah, gotta get home to the Missus," Yamada answered, waving goodbye. He walked over to Jasdodo's car, which _looked_ empty, but Yamada knew better. Sure enough, when he sat at the driver seat, Jasdodo was lying down in the back seat.

"So how'd it go?" Jasdodo asked as Yamada turned the key that was left in the ignition.

"It went great. I suspect I'll be getting a promotion for this…" Yamada answered, pulling out of the parking lot.

"Sweet," Jasdodo smiled as he climbed into the front passenger seat. No easy feet when you're going at thirty miles an hour. "Anyway, you making plans tomorrow night?"

"No, why?" Yamada asked.

"'Cause me and the twins are going to the _Kakashi_, and I was wondering if you wanted to come? Bring your wife, or something." Jasdodo answered as he buckled his seat belt.

"Nah, Kumiko wouldn't approve," Yamada turned the invitation down half-heartedly. "Doesn't set a good example for the kids."

"Ah, that's a shame," Jasdodo remarked, shaking his head.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Yamada yelled out to the apartment, hanging his coat and hat onto the rack beside the front door._ What a night…_

"How'd it go?" Yamada's wife asked, walking up and kissing him. His wife, Kumiko, had long, straight black hair that reached down to about half-way along her back. She was a woman who believed in a lot of exercise, so she had kept her curves through two children.

"Oh, it went _great_. We busted a large drug dealing operation tonight," Yamada answered, looking around. "The kids asleep?"

"Yes," Kumiko answered, walking into the kitchen.

"What's for di-" Yamada almost asked, but then his Cell Phone rang. "Oh, who could that be? _Hello?_"

"_Hey, Detective,_" answered a voice Yamada was familiar with. "_It's Chief. We need you to go down to a scene._"

"Why?" Yamada asked. _Aw, great. Why does it always have to be right as I get home? You know? Why can't people kill each other right after lunch break?_

"_Homicide,_" The Chief answered. "_I'd let you have the rest of the night off with the druggie bust but this ones serious._"

"How serious?" Yamada asked, slipping on his coat with a frown on his face.

"_Just get down there_," Chief answered. "_Down at the apartments…number 42 on Shinjuku drv_." Then he hung up.

"Honey, who was that?" Kumiko asked from the kitchen.

"Chief…apparently there's some phyco killer loose in the city…" Yamada put on his hat. "I'll be back in a couple hours…" He kissed his wife briefly on the lips. "…I love you."

"I love you too…" Kumiko replied as Yamada stepped out the door.

* * *

Yamada pulled up in his car, looking for the trademark yellow police tape that spoke of a crime scene. He found it, a small entrance to an ally-way taped over in an 'X'. _Why is it always an ally-way? Why can't there ever be a murder in a nice, warm and big Mansion like in the movies? _The Detective thought as got out of his car.

"Alright, boys…" Yamada asked, walking down the ally-way to a pair of fellow officers. They were guarding a tape-lined section of the ally-way, in the shape of a corpse. The near-by ground was stained with dark blood. The actual _body_ was already transported to the morgue. "What've we got?"

The two men in blue uniforms saluted. "We have a murder. Poor guy was murdered with a _machete_. It was driven through his stomach, with multiple deep cuts across the torso and arms. One of the legs was severed as well."

"I see." _Great…most of the evidence is gone already._ "Any lead on who the killer was?"

"No…but…you should see this," The policeman on the left said, gesturing to the other side of the ally-way.

Yamada grunted and walked over to the ground the officer spoke of. On the ground, almost like it was printed there, were… "Hoof prints?"

"Yessir…no other prints," The other officer replied. "So either the killer brought a goat with him to the murder, or…"

"He's wearing goat-feet…or he's a goat man," Yamada finished. "I highly doubt we're dealing with a goat-man, so…wait, do we have any witnesses?"

"Yeah, guy who called it in," The first officer replied. "He's back at the station, looked really shook up. And the Chief thought you'd like a look at the crime-scene first."

"Alright, I've seen everything I can here. Let's get back to the station and-" Yamada stopped short as a dark blur of something passed in front of his eye-balls at wicked speed. It embedded itself in the wall to his right. Yamada looked, and in the glimmering moon-light, was an _arrow_. _An arrow?_

Yamada looked to his left. In the shadow of a dumpster, where Yamada had over-looked previously, was something he had never seen before. It stepped out, a cloven hoof, attached to a furry, back-bending leg. It stepped out, revealing a bare-skinned torso, with a large pig-like head attached to it; it's large and curved tusks larger than Yamada's _hand_. In its meaty, clenched fist was a bow, and a quiver full of arrows was strung over its back.

"Holy-" Yamada instantly went for the holster strung under his shoulder, hiding beneath his coat, but he wasn't fast enough. The monster strung an arrow so fast Yamada almost didn't see its arm move. And just like that, it let the arrow loose…but it missed again, going very wide to the right.

Yamada grabbed the pistol out of its holster, and let loose several shots. All hit…one in the leg, one in its 'bow arm' the other in the chest, and the final one in the head, the monster recoiling back severely with each shot, until finally falling over.

The two officers who were behind Yamada stepped toward the corpse, guns pointed at it. "A pig-man?!?"

"Yeah, a pig-man," Yamada replied, walking up to the corpse. He took out a tiny flashlight from his pocket to examine it. "Call in Autopsy, I want this thing analyzed _pronto_…and I wanna know if this is some government experiment that got out of hand, if we're being invaded by aliens or...oh, boy."

The body was turning pitch black, adopting a cracked and hollow appearance in seconds. Then, the exterior crumbled away to dust, leaving nothing behind.

"What the heck was that?!?" The officer on the right asked, his voice cracking. "This thing shoots two arrows, then you shoot it…and it isn't even polite enough to leave a corpse."

"Yeah, really sucks, don't it?" Yamada asked, narrowing his eyes. _Well, how do I explain this to _Chief? _He wouldn't buy an alien story if a flying saucer were staring him in the eye balls…_ "The _real _question is 'how the heck are we going to explain this to the Chief'?"

"Uhhh…we could try telling him the truth," The first officer suggested, trying to sound hopeful.

Yamada gave him a look. "Oh_, really_? And what's the truth? 'That poor sap whose body is being tagged right now was killed by a pig-monster! Don't worry, though, we killed it! I wish I could show you the corpse, but it disappeared! It was a real doosey-' Are you mad?" Yamada abandoned his figurative quotes in favor of a condescending tone. "The Chief would have our badges at best, or in a more realistic scenario, have us handed over to the men in white coats."

"What do you think we should do, oh-so-brilliant detective?" The rebuked police officer rejoined with his own question.

"Right now?" Yamada asked, flipping open his cell phone. "Play dumb." He dialed the Chief's phone number. "Chief? Yamada. I've been all over the crime scene."

"Find anything we missed?" The chief asked tiredly. If Yamada didn't know any better, he'd say the Chief was at home sleeping.

"Not much else to see. Just a bunch of hoof prints and arrows stuck in the wall," Yamada answered, turning to each piece of evidence in turn.

"Arrows and Hoof prints…what does that give us?" The Chief sounded a tiny bit more interested now.

Yamada examined the arrows. "Well, it's just that the arrows were flung hard enough to leave cracks in a brick wall. And hoof prints mean there was some kinda animal present at the crime-scene."

"Or the perpetrator was wearing goat-boots," The Chief said. He sounded a little pleased at his insight. "Very good Yamada. Just photograph the arrows and prints and take the arrows back to the lab. After that, get to bed, man, you sound ragged."

"Okay…" Yamada thought as the Chief hung up. He quickly photographed the prints and arrows and bagged both arrows in individual plastic bags that he always carried with him. "Alright, boys. You get to bed or something while I take everything back to the lab."

* * *

_Author's Notes: Ack! This chapter feels so mashed and muddled together… or maybe it's just me. I don't think I quite got everyone's characters out right, because they kinda feel awkward._

_Well, as always, I depend quite heavily on your constructive critism!_

_I thank __**Evil Riggs, Kayrie, MrChoco and Pyro and Googlehead**__ for their reviews! Thank you guys!_


	3. Taken Prisoner

_I do not own Legend of Zelda_

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_Oooh, boy…my stomach hurts…_Mike thought. He wasn't sure where he was, or when he had regained consciousness, but he was content to lay there. He could tell he was lying on a stone-cold floor. He slowly opened his eyes, and found himself looking up at a dark grey ceiling. Grunting, he sat up. He saw a veritable wall or iron bars on his left, and a rock-solid dark stone wall on his right. A wooden table stood in the center of the room, with stools standing around it. One of them was knocked over, however; the top was lying against his leg. There was the sound of a loud breeze coming from an unseen source.

Clutching his stomach, he stood up. As he did so, a sharp pain went through his right leg. He almost fell again, but he braced himself on the table. _Oooh…if this keeps up, I'm going to puke._

He looked over to the source of the loud breeze. It was a window, with a diamond frame. Slowly limping over to it, he looked through it. What Mike saw made him puke up all of his candy, _right there_. Out side the window was ocean, being tossed and turned as a violent storm ripped across the surface. The wall continued down, down, down into the ocean. Smaller towers jutted from adjacent corners, connected by thin walk-ways and looked like dark spikes. _Oh, I don't feel so good…_

He puked again, and chunks of chocolate bar fell from his mouth and into the churning waters below. _Fate? If you're up there, I hate you. _He turned back. Through the cold iron bars that made up the other wall, he could see a hallway, and a similar cell. He could barely make out the darkened shape of someone in the cot.

Mike walked slowly over to the cell bars, so as to not upset his stomach any further. He braced himself on, and took a look at the hall way. The Hall was long, and had two more cells with wooden doors at the end. Aside from that, the halls were made up of the same brick and mortar the cells were. _Let's see…no keys just beyond my reach, no guards to bluff myself out of this cell and I'm in a giant tower in the middle of the ocean. Who ever built this place clearly did his homework…and that's just crap_tastic_ for me._

There was a small moaning sound coming from the other cell, and the shadowed figure moved a little bit.

_Maybe who ever is in that cell can help me get out…_ "Hey…you! You in the other cell! Are you awake?"

The figure stirred even more, slowly getting up. It stood up, holding the lone blanket it had close. He walked with an extreme limp, as if even the slightest movement caused intense pain. As the light revealed his features, Mike saw that it wasn't a he, but a she. She had long blond hair, but its shine was marred by the amount of dirt and grime that had accumulated there. The blanket she held close to herself didn't quite cover her all the way, so Mike caught a glimpse of her curvaceous body which was, besides the blanket, covered by underwear. Normally, Mike would be highly attracted to her but something was off: Her skin was extremely pale, almost translucent. There were impressions of a lot of dried blood all around. The blanket had dark red stains at various spots…some of the injuries were still fresh, Mike concluded.

She braced herself against the bars, and looked at Mike. Something sparked in her eyes, and her expression went from in pain to extremely frightened. "Oh no…they got you too?"

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Mike asked, rising an eyebrow. "What do you mean '_they got me too_'?"

"You have to find a way to get out of here before he comes back!" She sounded frantic and the volume of her voice was getting louder by the second.

"You didn't answer my question," Mike replied. "What are you talking about?"

"You have no idea what's going on, do you?!?" She sagged on the bars. Mike thought he saw a tear emerge from the corner of her eye. "Look, just-"But she stopped at the sound of a door creaking open.

A new figure emerged from the Darkness in the right end of the corridor. As the light revealed its features, Mike's eyes grew wide. It was a very large man. He was dressed in black full plate armor. A large sword was sheathed on his back, and most of the blade was hidden by a large flowing cloak.

So Mike took it in stride. "Hey, she won't stop screaming for some reason. Any idea what's wrong?"

The Knight stopped shortly before both cells, regarding the two. "She has good reason to be afraid, but I would suggest she stops screaming; lest my Lord Gannondorf discover that you're awake and proceed to the extraction."

"I'm right here," The Princess mumbled, slumping over on the bars.

"Ah, right," The Knight fully turned toward Mike. "Young man, in the corner, you'll find a large amount of red Chu Jelly gathering. Rather than let it sit and rot, you may wish to hand the Princess some."

"Why? And why did you refer to Gannondorf?" Mike asked, straightening. "He's just pretend. Fictional, right?"

"Because Red Chu jelly is an incredible disinfectant and aids in the healing of wounds…I'm afraid that if the Princess doesn't receive aid soon, she'll die of her wounds," The Knight explained. "And while she might prefer that end, I can't let it happen; if she dies, she takes her treasure with her."

"Wait, she's a Princess?"

"Are you going to help her or not?"

"Right," Mike looked around for the 'Chu jelly' and saw it gathering into a large pile. At first, it just looked like a pile of disgusting slime, but when just the right amount of light hit it, the jelly was red. He walked over to it and scooped some into his hand and held it up to the light. It looked like blood was sopping from his hand. He walked over to the cell bars, putting the hand full of jelly through them.

The Princess flinched away from the bars, and the knight seized the clump with his gauntlet. "Apologies Princess, but you must live."

The Knight entered the girl's cell. Mike watched with some fascination as the Knight grabbed the Princess's arm with his free hand and forced the jelly into her protesting mouth with his other hand. She fell to the ground and doubled over. "No throwing up on purpose, if you please. Though I'm told that would serve little purpose, I'd rather not take any chances," He rounded on Mike. "You might want to have some yourself, because you're looking a little green."

Mike regarded the pile of slime. "Do I have to?"

"Well no, but I assume you'll be wanting to make an escape attempt. And for that, you'll need to be completely healthy," The Knight answered, sounding a tad bored. "Besides, it looks better in the dark."

"What about taste?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask about _that_."

Mike sighed, and let the slime drop from his hand. "Whatever, I'll just get better the regular way. Now about that escape attempt…"

"You better make it soon," The Knight turned to leave. "You have until I reach My Lord's throne room to tell him you're awake and alive."

"Huh, What? Hey wait!" But he was gone. Mike looked around quickly but saw nothing to aid in an escape. No keys, no holes in the walls, no-

"Try under the bed," The Princess coughed and stood up. "There's something under the bed you can use."

"How would you know that?" Mike asked while checking under the bed. "You have psychic powers or-ooh! A path out!" Well said path was actually a small tunnel about as wide as the bed-frame above it, and just high enough to reach the bed itself. Inside was pitch dark and invisible. "Wait, how do you know I won't end up stuck in there?"

"Just go through!" She yelled. She seemed like she was getting more panicked by the second, but Mike couldn't see that because he was under the bed.

"Wait, what about you?"

"I'll be okay, just go!"

_Haha, that's unlikely. Anyone who can command an armored monster like that is prolly a badass, _Mike thought as crawled through the small tunnel. He had to suck it in a few times to make it through but for the most part he squeezed through pretty well. _And people like that don't like being messed with. That means she'll end up worse than I met her as, odds in favor. _

He kept going in this fashion, and soon he saw a small light. _Hallelujah! Freedom!_ Mike did a small celebration in his head as the light became he came closer to the exit, he could feel sea air blowing slightly against his face. Eventually, he came to the exit. It was a small, foot-wide path that was placed precariously on the outside of the tower. The storm winds shoved and pulled at Mike, so he hugged the wall. _Okay, I'm on the outside of the tower now…now what? It's not like I can just swim for sho-hello there!_ Mike looked out and in the horizon he saw a ship enter a large cylindrical tube that extended out of one of the turrets.

"That's a dock to protect the ships from the storm has to be," Mike muttered to himself. _Now how do I get down there…?_ He examined the wall he was propped against. He noticed a port-like window about five feet away from him that swung open and closed slightly in the wind. _Okay, I gotta go through the window, sneak around the entire Tower in the general direction of that turret, then around in the turret until I get to the dock. After all that, I stow away and hope that my escape isn't noticed in time._

After some closer examination, he saw another hole in the wall similar to the one that he had used to escape. _Huh, the Princess must've dug both holes in the cell, but then why would she not use them…_

Mike almost jumped as the Princess in all her supermodel glory climbed out of the hole. She almost plummeted to the depths below, but Mike grabbed her arm and helped her against the wall. She didn't take the blanket, so all she had was her underwear on. Mike blushed. _Don'tlookdowndon'tlookdown…_ "Hey, you okay?" He yelled over the wind.

"Yeah, I'm fine," She answered in equal volume. "Have you figured out a plan?"

"Yeah, sneak over through the tower and too the docks," Mike answered. "Enter through that window!" He pointed too the window.

Suddenly, the Tower began to shake. He rumbled and groaned and the clouds turned red as if a god was releasing his fury at some unfortunate mortal. Mike thought that 'unfortunate mortal' was himself. _Fate? I'm sorry I said 'I hate you'! Really!_

"Change of plan!" The Princess yelled, grabbing Mike's arm.

"What're you-whoa!" The Princess had jumped off the tower, and took Mike with her. Mike felt his heartbeat stop for half a second. _Oh man…if the fall doesn't kill us, something tells me that there's going to be massive sharks in the water._ With this cheery thought, Mike did the one thing a teen falling from that height can do; He screamed.

He saw the water get closer and closer, but his lungs never gave out. He was only forced to stop to take a breath was when he hit the water and was forced to swim upward. Mike gasped as he broke the surface and looked around. _Okay, where'd the Princess of Nutty Kingdom go? Where-?_

She broke the surface right beside Mike. The Princess wore a large smile on her face. "How's that for fun?"

"Great if you're crazy!" Mike answered his eyes wide as he looked at her. "Which you probably are!"

Her eyebrow rose, but she didn't answer. Instead, she said; "Give me your hand."

Mike's eyebrows rose as she took his hand anyway. She intertwined her hand and arm with his, and Mike noticed something. "You have one of those weird golden triangle things too?!?"

She didn't answer; her eyes were closed in focus. The two triangles began to glow. It glowed brighter and brighter until it was blinding. There was a flash of green light and Mike felt himself get pulled to his left with all the force of a jet.

_Whoa…_Mike thought. His immediate field of vision was surrounded by a vortex of sparkling green light. _It's like Lightspeed but green. And sparkly._ There was a small light at the end that was slowly growing bigger. _Ah, man…exit's coming. Do I have too leave? This is, like, the closest thing I have to fulfilling a Star Wars fantasy. Now all I need is a Lightsaber, dang it!_

Then, the bright white light flashed for half a second and Mike felt himself stop. The surroundings zoomed in like they were super stretched out drawings that were being returned to normal size. He found himself standing in a pond, and the Princess was standing right in front of him. In her underwear. Her arm was still entwined with his. She was so close that her right leg was standing on Mike's tennis shoe.

_This…is…awesome,_ Mike thought.

"So, now that we're not busy escaping from evil's clutches, I think we should introduce ourselves," The Princess let go of Mike and stepped a few feet away. "I'm Zelda, Princess of Hyrule, heir to the Hylian throne and bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom. What's your name, my friend?"

Mike was speechless. _Princess Zelda. From the Legend of Zelda. The games. Where the hero looks just like me. Right. Sure. I'm dreaming, or I've gone mad and I'm really just sitting in the Happy House with the men in white coats posted right out my door as I mumble to myself. I wonder how long it's been?_ Mike pinched himself. _Nope, not dreaming. That leaves the insanity route. Fun. Oh well, might as well enjoy myself while I do… _"I am Hrothgar Orccleaver from the Iron Fist clan. I currently hold the record for most Orcs slain in battle amongst the rest of my adventuring party at a stunning one hundred and sixty-two. I'm a Holy Warrior for Tyr the god of Justice and I really like Ale." Mike used the name of his Dwarf Paladin for this introduction for his sole entertainment.

The Princess's eyes narrowed. "Can we please be serious about this?"

"What? That's my real name and occupation," Mike answered innocently.

"No, it's not. If that were the case, you wouldn't be fighting that smile that's tugging at the end of your mouth," She snapped. "Holy Warriors take their job very seriously and would not hesitate to rebuke you if they found you mocking their title. Now, your name?"

Mike's eyes widened in disbelief. _Holy crap, she's good…_He decided it would be best to be serious this time."Alright, fine. My name Michael A. D'Angelo from the state of New York. I'm a consol gaming nut and the last thing I remember before waking up in that tower was getting all the candy knocked out of me by monsters. Happy?"

"Yes I am," Zelda answered with a smirk. "Now, our adventure awaits…but I'm getting ahead of myself. Again." Zelda looked down and snapped her fingers. A long dress sparkled and appeared on her form and covered her completely. "Shall we? I get the feeling I'm going to have to explain a couple things too you…"

* * *

_Authors Notes: An update! Finally! I thought I'd give you all a present before I lose myself to the beta-testing of Champions Online. So yeah, we've arrived at this part of the story, where Mike meets Zelda. The scenario is basically the same, but with some slight differences. Anyone who can tell me what those differences are gets internet cookies and an honorable mention._

_I thank Evil Riggs for his review last chapter!_

_I love you all!_


	4. Revelations

_I don't own Legend of Zelda._

* * *

Mike was sitting at a wooden dining room table. He was holding a knife and a fork in his hands. There was a stone plate in front of him with a meal on top of it. It looked a little like a combination of meat and vegetables that he would usually receive at home around this time.

Sitting beside him to his left was a little girl, around age eight. She had dirty brown hair that was tied in pigtails. The meat on her plate was already gone, but she refused to touch the vegetables, which looked like broccoli. Her hands were folding and she was glaring at the plate.

Sitting across from Mike was the Mayor of the town Kakariko, the town Mike was now visiting. His name was Bruno. He had a large, white mustache. His small, beady eyes were perpetually staring at either Mike, or the person sitting at the table.

The person sitting at the head of the table was the Princess, Zelda. She was now wearing a modest gown with a brown leather corset wrapper around her. She was eating slowly, and with dignity.

_You know, I kinda feel for Mayor Bruno, _Mike thought as he took a bite of the broccoli-like substance. _I mean, what would it be like if the President showed up on our doorstep with Hercules at his shoulder, saying they needed food. I'd be nervous as all-get-out. Incidentally, I would prefer Kratos to Hercules in that Kratos is cooler, but still…_

Zelda cleared her throat. "I would like to thank you for your hospitality. It would've been unwise to seek out an inn, dressed as I was with the sort of rabble that goes there. You shall be rewarded when I return to Castle Town and have access to everything again."

"Thank you, Princess. Do you wish for me to send a messenger to the Palace and alert your Father?" The Mayor asked, practically snapping to attention.

"I don't see a point. I have to keep moving, lest Gannondorf capture the two of us again," Zelda answered, gesturing toward Mike and herself as she said this. "Also, I believe we'll need to stay here for the night. Do you have a room that Mike and I can converse secretly in?"

"You could use the cellar," The Mayor offered after a moment of thought. "It's just a large cave cut out of the ground. No windows."

"Excellent," Zelda answered, standing up. "Mike, if you'll accompany me? There are still things we need to discuss."

"Sure," Mike stood up also, and followed the Princess as the Mayor led them into the kitchen.

The kitchen had a fire-place built into one of the walls with a cauldron simmering over it. There was an old fashioned water-pump that Mike thought was straight out a western movie, which sat beside a sink. There was a small wooden door tucked into the corner. _That must be the pantry_, Mike thought. _Only thing that it could be, since I doubt they have refrigerators…_

The Mayor opened the pantry, revealing shelves loaded with sacks of grain and metal tanks on the floor. He moved the tanks, revealing a wooden trap-door. The mayor pulled on the metal ring, and opened it at the hinges. "It's cold down there, thanks to the Blue Chu-Chu presence in the dirt."

"Chu-Chu's?" Mike asked incredulously. _What the heck is that?_

"Oh, don't worry Hero," The Mayor gave him a re-assuring look. "They won't bother you none. They like it better in the dirt; in any case…the ones you've seen above ground were under Gannon's spell."

"Thank you, Mayor," Zelda said, cutting Mike off from asking his next question; 'what the heck are Chu-Chus'?

The Mayor nodded in acceptance, and grabbed a torch from a bin beside the pantry and rubbed it against the wall. It caught fire instantly, and the Mayor climbed down a ladder down the trap door.

_Huh, what do you know?_ Mike thought as he watched the Mayor descend. _Medieval Match-paper._

"It's ready!" The Mayor called from below.

"I will go first," Zelda responded, striding over to the ladder and descending.

_Well excuuuuuse me, Princess,_ Mike thought sardonically as he climbed down the ladder himself. The cellar was a large, spacious room. Curved stone walls and a smooth ceiling were clearly seen in the torch-lit room. There were large wooden crates, boxes and ceramic jars all around. Between two particularly large crates was a wooden chest with a wrought-iron lock.

"Well, then Mike," Zelda said as she sat on a crate and crossed her legs. "I suppose you have many questions, but we don't have a lot of time. So I'll simply tell you the basics and hope to answer your questions as we go."

"The first question you can answer," Mike quickly cut in before she could continue. "Is why I'm here. Who brought me here? Where am I?"

"You…" Zelda stopped, considering her answer before delivering it. "Are in Kakariko Village, capital of the Hylian colonies on the continent Gerudia, and main out-post to diplomatic negotiations between Hyrule and the Goron and the Rito tribes."

_Wait…Hyrule? Why does that sound so familiar…? _Mike thought. "Okay…now how did I get here?"

"Gannondorf brought you here, Hero. I don't know how or where you come from, but he did," Zelda answered with a risen eyebrow. "And now that you're here...what's wrong? Do you sense danger?"

Mike had locked up and his eyes looked far away. _Hero…why did she call me a…no _way_. I'm in that one kingdom that Link saves all the time! I'm in another dimension…I'm in a video game…and I'm the main character this time._

"Hero? Hero?" Zelda stood up and waved her hand in front of Mike's eyes, but he didn't see, so wrapped up in his thoughts he was.

_I have to save this kingdom because destiny gave me this magical triangle on my hand…probably gave me the ears too. That's like some amalgamation of my fondest dream, being the main character on an actual adventure…and the biggest annoyance in that the people I have to save are the ones that gave me the ears that earned me so much_ adulation. He thought the last word with utterly sarcastic venom as he brushed aside Zelda's hand. "Okay, I'm back to Earth now. You can stop that." _Should I really be trying to save those people?_

Zelda let out an annoyed grunt. "You shouldn't space out like that. We could be attacked at any time, and…"

"Uh-huh, yeah. Look, I don't know why you keep calling me 'Hero', Princess but I think you got the wrong guy," Mike said flatly. _Yeah, I'm not saving them._  
"You have to," Zelda responded in disbelief. "You have the Tri-force of Courage on your hand. I can feel it. Besides…" Zelda's eyes clouded over for a moment as if searching for something. "Beating him is the only way you're getting home…that's what you want, is it?"

_Crap_, Mike thought with disgust. "And how do you know that?"

"You were asking how you got here. That, besides your unusual attire insists another world, much like the world of the Twili," Zelda answered calmly with a smile. "So, you want to get home, I want my Kingdom to be safe, so our goals coincide. Are we agreed, then, to work together?"

_This has head-ache written all over it,_ Mike thought with a groan. _Oh well…At least she's hot._ "All right, I guess I'll do it. What do I have to do?"

"Good…" Zelda sighed with what Mike thought was relief. "I was just getting to that before you interrupted me."

Mike folded her arms and gave a dismissive nod.

"…right," Zelda cleared her throat. "A few hundred years ago, the Goddess's, Din, Farore and Nayru created a Key that could open holes in the walls in the worlds. They created this key to imprison Gannondorf again whenever he arose from his prison-"

"Wait, _again_?" Mike interrupted. "What do you mean _again_?"

"Every time he arises, the Hero; that's you, and the Princess of Destiny; that's me, must band together to imprison him…the key is split into three pieces after every use, so it must be gathered every time…by you. And then I use it to imprison Gannondorf," Zelda explained. She glared at Mike. "May I continue?"

"Why don't we just kill him?"

"Because Gannondorf has the Tri-force of Power, which makes him all but immortal…the only thing that can hurt him is the Master Sword, the Blade of Evil's Bane. Now if I could finish…"

Mike mentally whistled. _Bane of Evil, huh? Thinking DnD terms, that would mean lots of extra damage. Created by divine beings should enhance that, which would mean…wow._

"There's a Key Piece with the Goron and Rito up upon Death Mountain," Zelda continued. "One out in the Ocean with the Zora, and then one in the Forests of the continent Kokirikono," Zelda told Mike.

"Wait, how do you know all of that?"

Zelda gave a small chuckle. "I have the Tri-Force of Wisdom…such things come naturally for me."

_A better name for it would've been 'Tri-Force of Plot exposition', _Mike thought wryly. "I see…so I have to get these pieces then. Will you come with me? _As annoying as she could be, I'll need someone to come with me. There is no way I can take on those monsters by myself. No way in hell…_

"I was just getting to that," Zelda said. "You don't hold yourself like a swordsman. You seem lazier than I would've expected…the type to sit on your but rather than go out and train!"

Mike simply chuckled. "So I like to play games…so what?"

"So what? You probably couldn't use a sword to save your life!" Zelda exclaimed, exasperated. "You need training. You need to learn how to use a sword so you can use the Master Sword!"

_Using a sword like that would be sweet, but…_ "Couldn't you just point the key at him and zap back to prison or whatever?"

"No…" Zelda answered testily. "He needs to be weakened first."

_But of course…the standard excuse for any epic boss fight,_ Mike thought irritably. "Right, whatever. So how am I going to learn swordsman-ship?"

"From me. I'll teach you," Zelda explained, standing up. "But for now, we need rest. The mayor has two guest bedrooms, so we'll rest here before beginning our trek up Death Mountain."

_Because it's always up 'Death Mountain' not, 'Nice Meadow' or 'The Forest of Awesome'. It is, and has always been, 'Death Mountain', _Mike thought sarcastically. "Right. Off to bed now?"

Zelda nodded. "Because I am Royalty, I get the Guest room with the big bed. You get the other one. And you're going up the ladder first."

"Wait, what?" Mike looked at her quizzically. "Why?"

"Because I am not giving you a chance to look up my dress, that's why," Zelda said grumpily.

"Right…" Mike answered, grabbing the rungs of the ladder and hoisting himself up. He climbed up into the kitchen and saw the Mayor waiting for the two of them in the kitchen.

"Well Hero…now that you're here, Gannon ain't got no chance!" He said enthusiastically. "I tell you, it's quite a shock, really, to know that he's back again."

"What do you mean?" Mike asked as Zelda came up the ladder.

"I mean before you and her Highness showed up at me doorstep, I had no idea Gannon had returned," The Mayor answered. "But you'll beat him, I feel it in me bones…" He turned to Zelda. "Do you need a place to stay the night, Highness?"

"We do. Do you have a place for Mike?" Zelda asked, gesturing in his direction.

_Wait, if my guess is right, we'll have to leave early in the morning right after swords-lessons-thingy. But I need to know about Hyrule. I need to know its histories, and I need to know them now. For all I know, there's probably some serious weakness of Gannondorf that everyone's over looked…_"But before sleep – and I can't believe I'm saying this – do you guys have a library? There are some things that I need to know."

Zelda's eyes sharpened to a glare. "Mike, you need sleep."

"You're not my Mom," Mike retorted with a glare of his own. "Besides, there are things I have to know. Like about Gannondorf and weaknesses he has."

"I'll tell you all about Gannondorf and his weaknesses on our way to Death Mountain," Zelda said testily.

Mike simply ignored her and turned to Bruno. "Well, big guy? Does this place have a Library or not?"

The Mayor did a double take between the Princess and the Hero. "Well th-the town Temple has scrolls and books filled with knowledge, but what the Princess says is-"

"Is law," Zelda finished for him with a smile. "Thank you Mayor."

_I might not be able to take Bruno here, but I'd like to see your face when I've snuck out, _Mike thought vengefully. _That head of yours needs deflating._

"Your highness," Bruno bowed. "You may have my room, and Mike can have the guest room."

"What about you?" Mike asked with a risen eyebrow.

"I'll take the couch," The mayor answered. "It's actually more comfortable…better for the back."

"I see," Zelda answered. "Well then, Michael; Good night." She turned to Bruno. "Show him to the guest room. I already know where you're room is." She smiled at the Mayor's dumbfounded look. "The Tri-force gives many blessings. Knowledge is one of them."

She walked out of the kitchen, and the opening and closing of a door could be heard.

"Her highness can be very creepy at times," Bruno said, shaking his head. Then he shook himself. "N-not that that's a bad thing, it's just that-"

"Forget it," Mike said, holding a hand up. "Just show me to my room."

Mayor Bruno nodded, walking out of the kitchen and into a hallway to the left. Mike followed and saw that the hallway had four doors. At the end, Mike guessed was the Mayor's bedroom. The last room on the right had pink lace over the top, so he guessed that was the daughter's room.

The mayor walked up to the room closest on the left, and opened the door. "This is your room, Hero. Make yourself at home, and if you need anything, you know where I am."

"Thanks. Good night," Mike said with barely withheld venom as he walked inside. Inside was a double bed, a drawer by the wall. There was a bucket beside the drawer, but Mike decided that he didn't need to go all that badly. The walls, just like the rest of the house, were made of stone, and in the sole window was a pair of bamboo poles barring entry – or exit.

_Clever witch, _Mike thought as he examined the window. Outside the window, the full moon had shown itself brightly inside. _She a hot witch, but still: Clever witch. She knew the rooms were barred._ He grabbed the bar and gave it a sharp pull. It wouldn't budge. _It feels like these things have been here for a while. There's no way to break them without making a lot of noise…_

Mike looked around. He looked under the bed and saw that it was bare of anything useful. _I'll have to sneak out through the front door…past Bruno._ Mike shuddered at the thought. _I'll have to wait for a while, and then he'll be sound asleep._ Then he remembered Zelda and what she had said earlier. _Unless her unholy – well, technically it's holy – knowledge let's her catch me. Then she'll call the Mayor and I really don't want that. I'll just have to wait them out._

With that thought, Mike sat on the bed and waited. _You know, this is absurd. Something I normally see in webcomics and fanfics…being pulled into videogame land and being asked to save everyone. _Mike reached into his back pocket. _I mean…I never asked to be the hero, really. Sure, I asked for some crazy adventure to take me away before, but I – hey, I still got my MP3 player!_ He pulled the small white box with a digital screen out of his pocket. He put the earphones in each of his ears and turned up the volume. While the music was playing, he continued to think. _That should keep me up for a while. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. Sure, I asked for some crazy adventure to take me away from High-hell, but I always thought it wouldn't come with any responsibility. But no, I get the adventure, but no fun. Not really. Duh-duh-duh…_Mike was moving his head to the beat. Pretty soon, he was dancing around the room, with his hand in front of him like he was holding a microphone. He was mouthing the lyrics into this imaginary mic, and going on for several songs.

Then he stopped. He turned off his MP3 player and looked at the door. It was closed, and no one was standing there. He sighed in relief. _I couldn't tell you the amount of times that Mom walked in on me doing that._

He looked through the window. It was still night-time. _I was only doing that for a couple songs_, _so it's been about a half an hour? Forty-five minutes?_ He shook his head, and quietly opened the door. _Here's hoping everyone's asleep…_

It was dark. The fire in the kitchen and dining room having both gone out. A snoring sound came from the living room up ahead. Creeping forward, Mike saw that Bruno had, in fact, gone to sleep and was snoring loudly.

Mike smiled. _He seems like a heavy sleeper. That should make it easier to sneak through the front door,_ He thought as he snuck to the front door. Wrapping his hand around the door knob, he slowly turned it around. It squeaked loudly. Mike severely flinched, looking toward Mayor Bruno; but he just absentmindedly scratched his armpit and continued snoring.

Mike carefully slid through the door. As the night air kissed his face, he breathed a sigh of relief. He turned away from the door. The light, sand covered road split the town in half, with the Mayors residence right at the end of the road, aside from the water spring and cave that led to the rest of the world, Mike thought. _Now, the Mayor mentioned a temple…it's probably at the other end of the road, but I should probably ask someone._

Mike walked off into the town. It was very quiet and dark; very few had lights on. Before long though, Mike came upon a place was the well lit and very loud. The sign above the twin doors said 'Thelma's Saloon'. Out of the double doors came a man with several metal plates on his arms, legs and chest. He stumbled and leaned on a wooden pillar for support.

_Drunk stupid from the looks of him,_ Mike thought as he walked up to the man. "Hey, dude? Dude?"

The man yelled out in surprise. "Dun scthare me like thhhat…" The man slurred. "Wha-what do you wannt?"

_Yup, drunk stupid,_ Mike thought. "Where's the temple?"

"Y-you want directions to the-" He hiccupped before continued. "-the T-TEMPLE?!?"

Mike flinched at the sudden increase in volume and looked down the road toward the mayor's house. "Yeah, yeah. Quickly, please."

"Y-yeah, brother. All Triforce w-worshhhiping folks are ffine with me!" The drunk smiled, revealing a set of severely yellowed out teeth. "Just fffollow the ROAD, pal!"

"Thanks man," Mike said quickly, running up the road, hoping to get away from the drunk before he woke the town.

"HOPE YOU GET THERE SAFELY, BRUDDER!" The drunk yelled at him from behind. "Need your daily-"

Mike didn't hear the rest, because he was now turning a corner in the road and was too far. At the end of the road, there was a massive building, made of marble. The roof was a curved dome, and the path led right into the large, twenty foot tall open entrance.

Mike shrugged and walked over. Above the entrance, Mike saw the three golden triangles painted on the marble. Inside the entrance, Mike saw the floor was checkered, with the same golden triangles in each of the squares. Several round marble pillars lined the sides. Mike Whistled. _Man, these people are obsessed._ A pair of hallway entrances were at the end on either side.

In front of Mike there was a desk with a woman behind it. She was writing on a piece of paper, and she wore here red hair in a pair of huge braids. Mike walked up to her. "Hi. Can I see the archives?"

She looked at him with a risen eyebrow. "I'm sorry-" She took a moment to look at Mike's clothes before coming back to his face. "-sir. Those are classified. The chapel is on the right, however."

"What would it take to get authorization?" Mike frowned.

"You would have to have a written consent from the Royal Family, or some other sort of invitation," She said snootily. "As I said, the chapel—"

"Would this count?" Mike asked, showing her the back of his left hand.

"Sir, I –" She stopped, her eyes going wide. Her hand slowly, flinchingly, as if Mike would slap it away, rose up to it. When she touched it, she immediately pulled her hand away. "I – I'm so sorry, Hero. You need to see the Archives?" She asked, standing up. "Right this way."

Mike smiled, followed the secretary to the left. They went down a hall to a steel door. With the turn of a key, the door slid open. "There you go," she said. "The scrolls are arranged alphabetically, and if you need anything," She gave Mike a coy smile, "Anything at all, just come get me."

_Holy crap, she's into me!_ Mike thought, rapidly turning around. _Hey, maybe I can get her to – No, no! Stay focused. First things first. Let's look up Gannondorf…the guy I'm supposed to be murdering._

He walked down the stacks of books. "A…B…C…" He eventually came to G. He ran his finger down the series of books and scrolls until he came to one marked 'Gannon'. "Let's see…" He muttered, opening the book. "Gannondorf, Bearer of the Triforce of Power….immortal foe, Power incarnate…Master Sword, blah-blah-blah. Seeks to gain other two pieces of Triforce to take over the world. Just like every other bad-guy, now wait a minute!" Mike closed the book with a thoughtful look on his face. _My Triforce thingy is on my hand. Zelda's Triforce thingy in on her hand. So it stands to reason that his Triforce thingy is on his hand. And if that's the case, then with this Master Sword, the 'only thing that can hurt him' I could maybe sever it from him and kill him permanently…and maybe take it for myself._ He smiled. _That would be cool_. _Be immortal, super strong…yeah._

_Now for the more info on that Key…like how to use it,_ Mike thought, combing the bookcase until he came to a scroll with a metal binding that said. _Goddesses, Key of…Let's see._ Mike unrolled the scroll and began to read. _Key of the Goddesses, made to seal Gannon away when he returned yadda-yadda-yad hang on. What's this?"_

He read further, his eyes growing wide. _To prevent the forces of darkness from bringing the Dark Lord Gannon back with the key, it is scattered back into the three pieces and taken into the Sacred Realm, only to re-appear when Gannon escapes again._ Mike froze, his hands trembling. _Are you serious? You – you're joking me, right? You can't be serious…can't be telling me that I'm stuck here._

He continued to read.

_However, if the key pieces are found too late, and Gannon has all but won, it can also act as an escape device. One must simply turn the key, and that person will be transported to another world, one Gannon has no knowledge of._

Mike carefully slid the metal binder around the scroll. _That world that Gannon has no knowledge of. Couldn't be my world, could it? Of course it was. There was no way he'd know about our world, could he. Except now he does. And he brought me here to get the Triforce piece away from me…my world._

His back slid against one of the stone book cases as he sunk to the ground. _I'm stuck here. I have to use this key to beat Gannon, don't I? And when it separates back into pieces, there goes my chance at going home. Any chance at seeing Alan or my Parents or Jerome, Lizzy or Jeff ever again._

The wind left Mike's chest. _All because fate says I have to save Videogame Land. Except…_ He took a deep breath and began to look up. _Except Videogame Land is fictional. It doesn't exist._ Mike stood up slowly. _I mean…why should I give up my chance to go back to reality to save a fictional place? Why? Because Fate and Destiny says so? I can't think of a good reason except craziness. _He popped his neck. _I mean, between reality and fiction, it's no question, right? That key is the key home. And I'll use it to get home and leave Crazy Land behind me._

He started walking toward the exit. _I'll need the Princess's help, ironically. She wants me to save her kingdom. I won't do it. Screw fate, I want to go back home. Screw Destiny. I want to see my family again. Screw them both sideways; I want to use a working toilet again._

He walked out of the archives, and waved at the secretary as he walked around and into the other hallway. He came upon the chapel, with a massive stone statue of the three triangles at the end. There was a pedestal in front of it, with a book lying on top of it. Pews lined in rows were on either side of Mike. He stopped in the middle, where a beam of light shone through the triangular hole in the center of the statue.

"Most importantly…" Mike muttered as he stuck out a certain finger up in the direction of the statue of the sacred relics. _Screw you, Hyrule._

* * *

_Authors Notes: I apologize this was so long in coming. I was trying to see if I could make Mike's departure from tradition a little more dramatic and not as rushed as last time. I hope I succeeded. Any feedback on that front and general characterization would be severely appreciated._

_I would like to thank…_

_**Evil Riggs**_

_**Lemon Demon**_

_For their awesome reviews. Thank you guys so much! :D_


	5. Mr Games

_I don't own Legend of Zelda_

* * *

"Chief Takashi-san," Yamada bowed respectfully at the Chief of Police. "You sent for me?"

They were in an office, the shades over the windows were pulled up, showing the Shinjuku skyline. Yamada was standing in front of the Chief's desk. The Chief himself was sitting in his chair, which was much larger than the one he usually reserves for visitors.

"Yes, Yamada," The Chief answered. "Sit down, please." Yamada sat down in the chair carefully while The Chief continued. "Detective Ibiki was murdered two hours ago."

"Uh…I'm sorry, Chief. Is there anything I can do?" Yamada asked, sounding puzzled. _Why does he need to see me for? It's not like he and I were great friends or anything…_

"No, no. We've already sent notice to his family," Chief answered, his mouth pressed into a grim line. "I'm adding his case to your file."

_What? He's assigning me to his case too? _Yamada thought in alarm."Chief, I'm a Homicide Detective. I don't handle Missing Persons cases," Yamada said putting his hands together. "I don't mean to sound patronizing Sir, but wouldn't it be more reasonable to send someone from his unit?"

"Normally yes, but this was found at the murder sight," The Chief pulled open a drawer and withdrew a bag. He placed it on the table for Yamada to examine. He gulped. "But I think this is familiar to you…"

Inside the bag was a perfect replica of the arrow that Yamada had retrieved from last nights murder. "It's the same weapon from last night," Yamada noted.

"…Same ammo," The Chief corrected. "Detective Ibiki's case was a kidnapping. The victims husband reported it in after receiving a ransom phone call. The husband won't tell us what the ransom was, but he got a call."

"So he's a suspect," Yamada intoned. _More of a suspect than normal as well…he won't tell anyone what the ransom is._

"Yes. We've got a meeting scheduled with him tonight at six, at the Kakashi Karaoke bar," Chief leaned in. "Meet with him. He's using an assumed name; Mr. Games. If you recognize him by any other thing, though I don't see why you would, only address him as Mr. Games. He is Mr. Games and she is Mrs. Games on the record until we got the Criminal behind bars for his own protection."

Yamada nodded. _But I killed that monster! _He thought. He didn't show it, but he was confused. _Are there more of them…do they have a master? Or did I even kill it? Maybe I just caused it to go away for a while…Maybe?_

"The meeting is at six this evening," The Chief stated. "Don't be late. Be early, as a matter of fact. Dismissed."

Yamada stood up and bowed at the waist before turning to leave. _Maybe they do have a master._ He walked out of the Chief's office, navigating officers who were going around they're routines in their off hours. _What was it? It's not any creature that I recognize. Not in what little bed-time stories I remember, not in what little mythology I know…_

He entered an elevator and pressed the button to take him to the parking lot. _That there might be more of them is scary. I mean, the one that I found had bad aim…but apparently not all of them do. And it drew its arrow so fast…_

* * *

Blue lights danced across the walls. Up on the stage were a couple of people singing into microphones, slurring together the lyrics shown on the large theatre screen on the other side of the Bar.

Tables were aligned in a series of aisles in the center. A dance floor was over on the right side, below the screen so as to not obstruct the views of the lyrics. Cages hung from the ceiling that held scantily dressed women doing sexy dances.

Yamada of course, being the professional and married man that he is paid no attention to them. He was looking at the tables. There were couples seated at each, except for one. This one table had a nervous, aging man in the seat. His hair was black but his face was wrinkled. He was wearing a black business suit and he was looking around.

Yamada strode up to the table quickly. "Mr. Games?"

The man looked at him as if he had just been startled. "Yes, yes. That's me."

Yamada bowed. "I'm Detective Yamada, and I've been assigned to find your Wife and the kidnapper."

Mr. Games returned the bow as Yamada sat down across from him. "Thank you."

"Now, Mr. Games," Yamada took out a notepad. "You're wife was kidnapped?"

Mr. Games nodded, "Yes. The kidnapper phone called me after I got home."

"Do you go home the same time every time you get off work?" Yamada marked the info down on his notepad.

"No. Some times I get off close to midnight, others I get off at around five," Mr. Games answered.

_Huh, _Yamada thought, marking it down. _So he has an erratic work schedule…so how did the kidnapper know when he got home._ "When you got home, were there any open windows or places you could see through?"

Mr. Games was shuffling his feet. "I can't remember."

_Well, that's another ding against him,_ Yamada thought has he marked that down. _It's unlikely that a kidnapper would be able to call him right after work with an erratic schedule…unless he was calling him again and again._ "Does your phone have caller ID?"

"Y-yes," Mr. Games replied.

"Did the Kidnapper call you multiple times that day?"

"No, he called my cell phone," Mr. Games answered.

_On one hand, he's lying and he really didn't get a ransom call, _Yamada thought. _Or he's telling the truth and he did get an improbably ransom call. Actually, it's not that far fetched to assume he was followed. Hmmmm…_ "The call you received from the kidnapper was a ransom call, right?" This question was more for him to see if Mr. Games could keep his story straight.

"Yes. Yes it was," Mr. Games kneaded his fingers together.

"What was the Ransom?" Yamada asked him.

Rubbing his forehead, Mr. Games looked away. "He…wanted something specific."

_Something specific? This is new,_ Yamada thought, his pen a blur as he wrote that down. _From what I read in the report, he refused to say anything at all._ "It wasn't money?"

"No, it wasn't," Mr. Games answered. "It involved some one in particular."

"Who did it involve?" Yamada pressed.

"Some kid in America," Mr. Games answered, wiping his temple. "The kidnapper didn't want this kid doing something."

_Doing something? _Yamada thought incredulously. Then, with even more incredulity thought; _Kid in America?_ "What would this kidnapper want with a kid in America and how would you be able to stop him?"

"The kidnapper and the kid have a history together," Mr. Games answered vaguely.

When it was clear that Mr. Games wasn't going to answer the second half of the question, Yamada asked another one. "You saw the other Detective die?"

Mr. Games hung his head. "Yes."

"Did you see who did it?" Yamada pressed.

Mr. Games eyes darted in different directions in nervousness. "No."

_Lie,_ Yamada thought seriously, marking this on his note pad. "I see…do you have any contact information I can use later?"

"Yes," Mr. Games replied taking a small business card from the inside of his jacket as well as a pen. He hastily wrote down a cell phone number and handed it to Yamada.

Yamada took it and saw the name on it, "Shiger-"

"Mr. Games!" Mr. Games panicked. "That name on the card is my real name…but Mr. Games until after the investigation, right?"

"Yes," Yamada said, standing up and bowing. "I apologize. I must go now…I have a lot to sift through."

Mr. Games nodded, stood up and bowed. Then without a word he hurried out of the Karaoke club.

Yamada shook his head and made his way out as well, though much slower as he was lost in thought. _It's obvious that the monster in the Alleyway is connected to this…but what does this half to do with a kid in America? What history could he have with a kidnapper in Japan? And the monster…there's more of them now, I'm certain. But was this connected logically? Or is it just a random act of animal violence?_

He remember the bow and arrow as he walked out of the club. The music faded to near nonexistence and Yamada made his way to the car. _No, they're intelligent…and they have a leader. The kid in America…what does the Kidnapper not want him to do?_

He reached for the car door and before he could open it, something fast and sharp imbedded itself in his car door. His head snapped to face it. It was a black arrow, the same he had seen at the previous crime scene. He looked around, and there he saw not one, but three monsters with pig snouts. Only one of them had a bow and arrow, the other two had spears. Illuminated by the parking lot lights, he saw that they each had purple skin and their mouths were curled into a smile…or as close to one as you can get.

Yamada uttered a curse and drew his pistol. He pointed the barrel at the monsters which were coming closer and squeezed the trigger.

The bullet exploded out of the trigger. An instant later, one of the monsters arms was nearly torn off the body. It was dripping black blood that faded away into smoke as it dripped to the concrete. He also dropped his spear and was clutching the wound, howling in rage and agony.

Yamada felt another arrow go over his head as the other monster with a spear advanced on him faster. The detective circled his car to seek cover, squeezing his trigger once again, hitting the uninjured monster between the eyes. It fell to the ground and it's body disappeared in black smoke. _Keep calm, keep calm…if I can get one alive, the Chief will be able to believe the crazy story I have for him when I get back to HQ._

Yamada peaked over the hood. The injured monster was still holding its wound, but the one with the bow had already knocked an arrow. He let the arrow loose and stuck into the side of Yamada's car.

_Not my car,_ The detective mentally snarled, taking aim with his pistol and squeezing the trigger three times in rapid succession. Only one bullet made contact with the target, hitting it in the leg while the others merely bounced off the walls of the club.

The one Yamada shot in the arm earlier stood up, grabbing the spear with its good arm. With an inhuman roar, it charged the car and rammed right into it. The force sent the car flying above Yamada, twisting in mid air before landing upside down. Glass shards were everywhere.

Yamada quickly pulled the gun to aim at the head and squeezed the trigger again. The Monster collapsed and his body disappeared in a mess of black smoke.

_Whew…now to find that other one,_ Yamada stood up and ran after where he thought the monster had gone. There was a small trail of black smoke, so it wasn't difficult. _I just need you alive…then I can explain the massive damage you and your buddies did to my car._

The smoke was getting thicker as it turned into another alleyway. There it was, standing on a limp, trying to lift a sewer cover. It wasn't succeeding as it's stubby fingers couldn't get around the grips. Yamada snuck closer and took careful aim. Two more shots rang out. The monsters other leg and the right arm were crippled. Yamada walked to the side, and kicked the monster. Hard. It was screaming in pain and panting.

Yamada took out his cell phone and called the station. There was an answer, a clearly female voice on the other line. "Hey, Riko?

"Detective Yamada?" The female voice at the other end inquired. "What's that screaming?"

Yamada kicked the monster in the chest, knocking the wind out of it temporarily. "Could you get a unit down here? I have something that will help my investigation immensely." He looked at it, a new thought occurring to him. "And bring an ambulance down here. I need it alive."

"It?" Riko replied, confused.

"Yes, it."

* * *

_Author's Note: I'm not particularly happy with this chapter, though I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe it'll hit me later._

_Incidentally, if you spot it, there's a call back to the previous edition to this fic. The reason it was taken down, specifically. And if you're wondering, yes, I'm still bitter about it._

_**I would like to thank Evil Riggs for his review of the previous chapter. You are awesome.**_

_R&R!_


	6. Training

_Disclaimer: I do not own The Legend of Zelda_.

The sun was up with its bright and stinging light shining through the window. Mike was underneath the covers, hiding from his warm wake-up call. He was snoring lightly and had on a happy smile as he snoozed.

At least until the last person Mike wanted to walk into the room walked into the room.

"Good MOOOOrniiiing!" Zelda entered with a song in her voice. "How did you sleep?"

"Terribly," Mike muttered.

"I can't hear you when you're muttering," Zelda's voice still chipper.

"Terribly," Mike barked. He buried his head under his pillow. "I need more of it."

"But it's past time for your first lesson," Zelda mock-pouted.

"We can go over it when you're…" Mike fell asleep again.

Zelda tapped his shoulder. "Okay, seriously, Mike. We need to be going up the mountain before night-fall. With Gannondorf out of his prison, nights are very dangerous here."

Mike was now snoring again.

Princess Zelda sighed. "Alright, if you want to do it that way…"

She grabbed Mike's ankles underneath the sheets and pulled. Somewhere along the tug Mike woke up and held onto the mattress. It came off the frame with him. Mike was whimpering. "I don't wanna get up."

"Tough, we have to go soon," Zelda said, hands on her hips.

Mike rolled over and opened his bleary eyes. Once the initial blurriness subsided, he saw that Zelda wearing pants now. A rapier with a golden hilt hung haphazardly from her belt. She wore thick leather boots on her feet.

"Nice outfit," Mike said. "Mooch it off the locals?"

Zelda scoffed. "No! Magic, remember?"

"Right," Mike grunted, folding his arms. _Oh she can pick whatever outfit she wants. Who is she, Barbie?_

"So are you going to get ready, or…?" Zelda asked.

Mike looked down. He was dressed in only his boxers, leaving his glorious body for show. He looked back up at her. "See anything you like?"

Zelda raised an eyebrow and then turned on her heels to leave the room. "I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

_Got her_, Mike thought cheerily as Zelda closed the door. He stood and stretched. _Oh, that feels good!_

"By the way, you will need this outfit to wear," Zelda said from outside. The bottom of the door glowed pink and opened up a space just large enough for Zelda to slide a packet of clothes on the floor to him before returning to normal.

He picked up the first thing on there, a white cotton-like tunic with long sleeves and a collar.

_Oh, at least it's comfortable,_ Mike thought as he put it on. _Wait, where are MY clothes?_

Mike looked around and couldn't find them strewn about on the floor where he left them last night after his Splinter Cell escapades. "Where are my clothes?"

"They're in the wash, they were filthy," Zelda called from outside. "They had a bit of vomit on them."

"Oh, that's nice of you. When can I get them back?"

"After we defeat Gannondorf."

_Screw you,_ Mike thought. He picked up the pants, which were thick leather, parts of which had been stiffened to protect against attacks. He struggled with them up his legs until they came to the top. _These are not going to be comfortable at all._

The next was another shirt, green this time, with brown straps around the waist section. _Green? For camo or…oh, right. Iconic outfit. I'm in pretend world._

He picked up the shirtand grunted in surprise. _Geeze, this is heavier than I thought._

He brought it up to eye level and saw that the tunic was woven over a thick shirt of chains, with a leathery backpack buckled to the back. _Oh, that's why. Cool, I have a real suit of armor._

He put it on with effort and tightened the strapps. _Alright, now I'm ready._

Mike strode over to the door and opened it. There was Zelda, standing and waiting. She was carrying boots and fingerless gloves that were all plated with metal.

Mike looked down at his bare feet. "How come you didn't slide those in with the shirt?"

"Boots don't slide very well."

"I see," Mike responded, taking the boots and pulling them on. They reached just below his knees. _Guess that's true. Good boots need a lot of traction._

He stood and noticed that Zelda was looking over him into his room. "Oh, there it is. You forgot the hat."

"The hat?"

"The hat," She said, handing Mike the gauntlets. They walked back inside as Mike strapped on the gauntlets. Zelda stooped over and picked up a small, folded up piece of green cloth that Mike hadn't seen and handed it to him.

Mike unfolded it and held it by the base. "It's a green…triangle."

"Yes, essentially," Zelda replied, rubbing the back of her head with a smile. "Is that a problem?"

_You people are obsessed with triangles,_ Mike thought, remembering last night their shrines of the Triforce in the temple. _It's weird._

But he merely said, "No, not really. Just saying."

"Okay good," Zelda said. "Because that's the outfit the hero has always wore as he defeated Gannondorf. It's a huge honor to wear it for anyone else and _you_ get to wear it _all the_ _time_."

"Got it," Mike said. "Understood, I am _honored_."

"Don't let it go to your head," Zelda told him with a chuckle. "It's just your regular outfit, after all."

"Right, okay," Mike said. _Funny and by that, I mean not funny at all._

He looked at it for a couple of moments. "What do I do with this again?"

"It's a hat. You wear it," Zelda replied.

"I...,"Mike was at a loss for words. "I really don't want to wear this."

"Why?" Zelda asked.

"Because," Mike said. "I don't think I'll look good in it."

"What do you mean?" Zelda's eyebrows were up. "You'll look fine."

"But I don't think I will," Mike whined. "Besides, how will this sack stay on in the middle of a fight?"

"Magic," Zelda answered. She began walking to the hallway. "Now come on, we have to train."

"Screw you I am not wearing the hat," Mike three-quarters muttered, one quarter sobbed.

"What was that?" Zelda asked from outside the room.

"Nothing," Mike responded and followed her. He put on the hat with great reluctance. _This thing is stupid._

They walked down the hall into the front room, where The Mayor still sat in his chair with a blanket over his legs.

"Good morning Mayor," Zelda greeted the mayor in his chair.

"Mornin'," Mike muttered.

The Mayor looked like he just woke up. "Good morning to you both. How'd you sleep?"

"I slept very well, Thank you," Zelda smiled in her response.

"Terribly," Mike answered.

"Aw, I'm sorry," The Mayor frowned. "The bed wasn't comfortable."

"It wasn't the bed," Mike told him. "It was the 'being yanked into another dimension where I have to save everyone' that did it. Lot of stress, you can imagine."

"Ah, I see," The Mayor replied. "Well, that'll fade in time as you get used to it."

"Uh huh," Mike replied. _Yeah, sure. No, it'll 'fade' when I'm home with my family again and I don't have to deal with this crap anymore._

"By the way Mayor," Zelda said. "Is the sword I asked for ready?"

"It is," The Mayor answered. "I took the liberty of getting a shield ready for him too."

"Excellent," Zelda said. "Thank you."

The Mayor stood and walked over to the shelf by the window. He picked up a sword and a metal shield. The sword was in a dark brown scabbard with metal straps along the length of it. The shield has a silver border with a blue inside, with a golden eagle with the Triforce design engraved on it.

Mike caught himself before he sighed in exasperation. _You people are obsessed._

He took the sword and shield from the Mayors hands and strapped them on his back. _I don't even know how I'm doing this. It's like its natural or something._

"Oh and here's a belt for you, too," The Mayor said, holding a brown belt with multiple pouches strapped along it. "It's got a wallet and pouches for whatever you may find on your quest."

_Sweet, a utility belt!_ Mike thought happily as he strapped it on his waist. _I'm like Batman now, only without the cool costume-armor-thing. Hey, where can I get a cool costume-armor-thing anyway?_

"Thank you, Mayor," Zelda said, opening the front door. "Now, Michael. Let's go outside for training."

"…'kay," Mike said, following Zelda outside. _This is going to suck, I know it is._ _I'm going to end up with cuts, bruises, broken limbs, paralyzed and with a bloody nose and it's going to suck._

They left the home of the mayor and walked down to the clearing where the spring they teleported to last night was. The sharp incline that made up most of the town stopped there, becoming a mostly flat surface.

Zelda turned around to face Mike. "Okay, first the basics. Draw your sword."

Mike grabbed the hilt of his blade and drew it with ease. It was getting the shield that was the problem because it didn't want to come off the buckles. He tried tugging it over and over again until Zelda stopped him.

"That's okay, Mike," She said, holding up a hand to signal a stop. "You will only need a sword for this part."

Mike shrugged and assumed what he thought would be a good stance.

"Huh," Zelda said with a risen eyebrow. "Almost. Try not to bend your knees so much."

Mike stood up a little straighter.

"Good. Now, first the Horizontal slash," Zelda said, bringing her sword up. "Slice horizontally at me. I will block."

Mike looked at her funny. "Are you serious right now?"

"Yes," Zelda answered. "Why?"

"I just thought you were going to start wailing on me and make me learn like that," Mike said.

"Don't be silly," Zelda replied with a smirk. "You have to know how to swing the sword before we actually begin sparring."

"And then you're going to take it easy on me, right?" Mike asked. _This might actually not be so bad._

"No, I'll make things difficult for you," Zelda said. "But it won't be impossible."

Mike cursed in his head. "Okay fine."

He ran up and made a horizontal attack. With almost effortless grace, Zelda blocked it. "Good. Again."

Mike swung again, and the two blades met with a clang.

"Very good. Now swing a few more times and we'll move on to the next move," Zelda said.

Mike swung and with each time he swung, Zelda blocked with more and more finesse until for Mike it was almost unreal. _Geeze, why doesn't this chick save Hyrule? She'll probably do it faster than me!_

"Now the horizontal strike," Zelda said. "Swing from above and beneath."

_Now for some reason, that just sounds wrong,_ Mike thought. But he did as ordered and swung in half circles like a quarter moon and still Zelda blocked each one. The metal clanked and clanged with each swing. The defense was elegant, like trying to hit water as Mike's sword was parried to the side each time he swung.

"Okay, we're almost done," Zelda seemed even more cheery now than she was before. Beads of sweat were dripping from her face as she grinned. "Now I want you to stab."

"Stab?"

"Stab," She said. "I want you to stab me."

_Well, there goes my brain!_ Mike thought as his cheeks went slightly pink. But he did as ordered and stabbed his blade toward Zelda. She, of course parried it. Each time. No matter how he varied his targets on her body, no matter how much precision he struck, his blade was deflected again and again. He picked up speed with no loss of accuracy, his blade becoming like a blur, stabbing head, torso and leg with speed he didn't know he had.

Zelda, however, simply stepped out of the way when the onslaught of stabbing became too much for her. "Enough!" She cried. As Mike stopped, she began laughing. "That was _wonderful_!"

_Just when I thought I fished my brain out of the gutter, _Mike thought with irritation. _Now I have a sweaty, happy woman in front of me._

"One last exercise and we're done," Zelda said, almost cheering. "You don't actually have to hit me this time."

"Good!" Mike said a little too quickly. "I mean-okay. That's fine."

"What's the matter, tired of your blade going in every direction?" Zelda asked with a chuckle.

_Dang it!_ Mike mentally cursed very loudly. "Whatever. What do I do?"

"Do a spin attack," Zelda said.

Mike face palmed.

"What?" Zelda asked. "I'm just asking you to spin in a circle with your sword…."

_Something has got to be done, I can NOT be thinking like this about the person I'm going to double-cross in a horrific way,_ Mike thought. "Okay, WHY?"

"So you can kill monsters when they've surrounded you," Zelda said. "What do you think I'm talking about?"

"NOTHING, nothing," Mike said. "Whatever. How do I do this?"

"Right, they probably don't have any mention of that in your world," Zelda said.

_No, I'm pretty sure we do, _Mike thought. _Actually it's probably guaranteed. I just don't know about it because I never played this game before, Sister._

"Anyway, what you do is you spin around with your sword out like this," Zelda held her sword out. "In a complete circle, like this, only faster," She demonstrated with a slow circle. "Got it?"

"Got it," Mike said.

Mike put his sword out and crouched low, trying to build up power in his legs with a loud "HYAAA!" he spun around as fast as he could with his sword out and stopped dead at a complete circle with his sword held behind him, glaring.

Zelda clapped. "Perfect! Excellent! Outstanding! This is going to be a lot better than I thought." In a flash of pink, there was a cloth in her hand, which she used to wipe the sweat from her brow. "I probably won't have to come with you after all."

"Great, when do I leave?" Mike said, maybe just a tad too quickly. _Whew, thank goodness. It'll be easier to run off with the key without her there._

"You leave in thirty minutes," Zelda said, wiping more sweat from her face. "Get prepared. There's a potion shop in town where you can get health potions, and other places and shops to get prepared for your journey up Death Mountain."

_Have I said how much I hate that name?_ Mike thought. "Cool. You have money for me to buy that stuff."

"Yes," She pulled an golden gem out of no-where. "Take this. It should pay for all necessary preparations with a little extra for the trip ahead."

Mike's eyes got huge. _I'm rich. RICH I tell you! RICH!_

"I know, it's a lot of money," Zelda said with a half smile on her face. "Don't spend it all in one place."

Mike quickly snatched the rupee from her hand and it disappeared just as suddenly as it appeared. "Hey, what gives? It just disappeared."

"Mike, it went to your wallet," Zelda said, rubbing her head. "Does money not behave that way in your world?"

"No, it stays solid and visible the whole time," Mike said. "None of this super-convenient disappearing to your wallet stuff. How do I get it out to pay for stuff?"

"Just imagine it's there and it'll appear," Zelda said. "Or just reach into your wallet. When you're making a purchase, you should just grab the right amount of change."

"It does that automatically?"

"Yes."

"That's _cool_," Mike said with a smile. "I like it.

"Good," Zelda said. "Now go purchase supplies. You leave in an-"

The loud ringing of a bell cut Zelda off, coming from the other side of the pass. Guards ran past Mike and Zelda, shouting "The enemy is here!" and "Protect the Princess!"

"Well Mike," Zelda said. "I think you're about to put what you've learned to use."

Mike gulped and readied his sword. _Great, now I'm fighting the guys that dragged me to the gigantic tower in the middle of the ocean._

The thundering of hooves joined the bells, shaking the ground. The guards clogged the way into town through the natural rock arch that spread from 100ft tall mountain to 100ft tall mountain on either side. Swordsmen were in the main tunnel and archers got atop towers which were built to overlook said arch.

Mike slowly walked behind the swordsman. _This is going to suck._

Mike could see arrows start to fly from above; striking the black amorphous blob that was the on-coming army. He couldn't tell if the arrows were doing anything but he assumed so. As the army came closer he could see the blob separating into distinct shapes of big-pig men riding giant four legged pigs.

_That's like a man riding an ape around, _Mike afforded himself a little chuckle.

One of the soldiers turned around to face him. "You think this'll be easy, Hero?"

"No," Mike replied. "I was just thinking how it was funny that pig men were riding giant pigs."

"Oh," The soldier said. Then he laughed. "That IS funny!"

_I'm glad my wit is appreciated here, _Mike thought.

Mike could see the arrows hit their targets now. Some hit the riders, knocking them off; others hit the giant boars themselves, sending the rider or sometimes both riders to the ground to disappear in black smoke.

Mike flexed his fingers and re-gripped his sword. _Looks like they're being picked off by the dozen. Good, less of them to kill me with._

The came closer and Mike could see that there were still some riders heading to the mouth of the passage. _Wait, those giant pigs are going to come barreling through this passage, killing everyone in their way._

Mike then backed up out of the way of the oncoming onslaught. He could see arrows hitting the towers above the arch. They mostly hit the protective planks around the balcony but some made it inside the tower. One managed to hit an archer, sending him to the ground below. He hit the ground with a solid thud, leaving a bloody crater filled with broken bones and ruptured flesh.

_Ooh, that had to hurt,_ Mike thought. He looked up and saw the bow falling to the ground at a much slower rate than its owner. _Hey, that could be useful. I wonder…_

Mike ran up to where it was falling and with deft agility caught it before it could shatter on the ground. _Perfect, ranged weaponry. This'll help a LOT._

Right as that thought passed through his head, the Boar riders burst through the passage at top speed, knocking over soldiers and trampling them flat. _Oh that had to hurt so bad._

Suddenly, the sound of cloth unfolding sharply was behind him and he looked to see a tubular compartment that had unfurled on the side of his backpack. _Huh. A quiver for my arrows,_ Mike thought with a chuckle.

He practically ran up the ramp to the tower and then the ladder to the top of the tower. Bringing his head up inside, he saw a small barrel where the archers drew arrows from. It was filled almost to the brim and there were five to six barrels nailed to supports around the inside of the nest. There were two archers left now, both drawing arrows from their quivers to shoot at the pig-men that had broken through the defensive line and got into the town.

_Wait, why do they need quivers if they have the barrels?_ Mike thought. _Oh, they just use the barrels to refill their quivers and they use quivers so they don't have to bend over for every single arrow they shoot. Clever._

"Hey!" Mike called. He pointed to the arrows. "Can I use some of these?"

The archers looked down and saw Mike. "Hero! Yes, you can use as many as you like." One of them said. "We need an expert like you to show us how it's done."

"Great," Mike said, reaching over and taking a clump of arrows. Almost absentmindedly he tucked them into his quiver. "I'll need these. Thanks."

Mike slid down the ladder at record speed. He drew his bow and knocked an arrow. _Show time._

_You know, you figure this would be terrifying,_ Mike thought, letting loose an arrow and hitting a pig-man-thing in the head. _But I don't really feel anything other than minor annoyance._

It was true. Later, Mike would describe it as his first-person-shooter instincts taking over, but as he knocked another arrow, he felt no fear as he let another one loose, nailing another pig-man in the side, causing it to disappear in a cloud of black…pixels? _Are those things dying in pixels?_ Mike pondered. _Oh, right. Video game._

He ran down the ramp, knocking and letting loose a whole stream of arrows, each one hitting a different target. As their dying bodies disappeared in pixilated black clouds, Mike ran through the town. He wasn't thinking, he was going purely on instinct. Eventually, he ran out of arrows.

_ Time to get a refill,_ Mike thought, turning around to get more arrows when one of the monsters riding a giant pig circled around to head him off. Mike looked up and saw that he had a massive wooden club, tipped with a large stone boulder starting to swing at him.

Mike back-flipped and the club just missed his head by centimeters. Dropping the bow, Mike drew his sword and shield. _Time to put those sword skills that I didn't know existed until ten minutes ago to the test._

Behind him, another pig-man circled and Mike was surrounded. Mike jumped and bounced again off the pig's flank over the back, decapitating the rider as he flew. He somersaulted on the landing as the rider behind him disappeared in black smoke. _Holy freak, did you see that? _Mike thought in his super excited nerd smile. _That was the coolest thing I've ever done!_

Not stopping there, Mike whirled around in a half spin attack to face the other rider, only to see him charging at him with his both of his ride's tusks pointed at him.

_Oh freak,_ Mike's eyes got wide. Then a thought popped into his head. _Wait, I could try that…_

Right as the boar almost gored him; Mike somersaulted around the beast and leaped up and over, decapitating the other rider in a mid-air spin-attack. The rider disappeared and Mike landed on his own two feet. _Holyfreakholyfreakholyfreakholyfreak…._

Then the atmosphere just…changed. Everything just felt dimmer. Even Mike's fanboying over himself felt more subdued. Mike felt a wave of negativity coming from behind him, and for some reason he couldn't hear anything. He saw Zelda pointing behind him and shouting something hysterically as she fell on her butt. The Triforce on Mike's hand was glowing.

Mike turned around slowly and saw another boar, its side turned to him. The rider was much different than the usual pig man. This rider was a man. A **big** man, his skin was black with a tinge of green and he had the reddest hair that Mike had ever seen, curled into thick braids and held behind his head by a metal crown. He was dressed in heavy black full plate armor. _Ooh, that's not good._

"Surrender," The rider's voice almost echoed in the canyon. "You cannot hope to defeat me."

_Gannondorf,_ Mike realized. The only thing that came out of the normally talkative Mike's mouth was this: "My fight is not with you!"

Gannondorf's cocked his head in slight confusion.

Then Mike turned and ran, gabbed Zelda's arm and pulled her to her feet as they ran. "What have you been doing while we've been fighting, Princess?" Mike almost snarled. "Playing dress up?"

"I was signaling for help!" Zelda sounded shaken to the core. "I don't think it will matter now though, because Gannondorf is here!"

_No kidding, _Mike thought, almost dragging the princess up the dirt ramp. _Need to get inside where we can hide. Probably won't do much good for long considering our hands are glowing, but we need to buy time until our reinforcements get here._

He saw the bar which the soldier from last night had come out. _Bingo! That probably has a secret passage or something for the law breaking clientele._

Mike made to get into the bar, but something tripped him. He looked back and saw a golden, translucent beam of energy that had wrapped itself around his foot. _Crap._

Zelda was held as well. The rope grew like a slimy coat of their legs until they both were completely paralyzed from the waist down. She attempted to back away with her elbows, but to no avail.

Gannondorf simply smiled and tied the energy-ropes to his saddle. He held the back of his hand forward, showing the same three-triangle design that Mike and Zelda has, but only his was the top triangle.

Mike looked at his hand. The glow from the Triforce was emitting a beam that began to unite with the two other beams coming from Zelda and Gannondorf's hands. For the first time in his life, Mike started to feel the inklings of pure terror in his heart. _That's not good. Don't do that, it scares me, please…_Mike whimpered in his head.

Suddenly, the ground began to shake and rumble with the ferocity of 5.0 Earthquake. Zelda smiled. Gannondorf frowned. "This will only delay the inevitable."

"I know," Zelda replied.

Then this HUGE boulder came and collided into Gannondorf, knocking him from his mount, the spin continuing to push him. The fear fled Mike's heart and he looked around.

From the top of the ramp of the town, it was like an avalanche had taken place. A rain of spinning boulders came and collided into the monsters and their mounts like ballistic missiles from God.

_Holy cow,_ Mike thought, as he watched the boulders swerve and move in attack patterns to clean the town out. _How are they doing that?_

Mike watched as one of the boulders jumped into the air and collided into the roof of the building across. Then four of the pig-men were trust out of the front door and a fat person with large rocks encrusting his limbs walked out. The pig men rushed at the rock man and were dispatched with powerful-looking punches. The rock-person then curled up into a ball and rolled off to join his brethren down the hill.

_Huh, _Mike thought. _Rock-people._

A boulder rolled down right past him and Zelda and skidded to a stop. It rolled up to the couple and then stood up straight. This one was different from the rest, as his rocks were spiked and he seemed taller some how.

"Uncle Darunia!" Zelda almost squealed and she ran forward and gave him a bear hug.

"Zelda!" Darunia returned the hug. "I'm so glad you're safe." Darunia looked up and saw Mike, who was looking at them with bug-eyes. "And who's this?"

Zelda released the rock-man. "Uncle Darunia, this is Mike. He's the Hero for our Generation."

"Is he!" Darunia smiled and gave Mike a big bear hug as well. "Thank you for keeping my niece safe!"

"Breaking…ribs…can't…breathe!" Mike gasped out from the arms of the big Goron.

"Oh, sorry!" Darunia released Mike. "I forgot not all Hylian's are as strong as my dear Zelda."

"No kidding!" Mike snapped, bent over and panting heavily. "I think you broke something."

"Oh here," Zelda said, her hand glowing green. She gently caressed his back for a few moments before drawing her hand back. "That should help."

"Yeah thanks," Mike stood up straight. "I do feel better."

"Good. Now onto business," Zelda said, turning to her 'Uncle'. "We need to evacuate the town. Gannondorf will slaughter everyone if there's a chance that it will lead to us. We need to get every train at the station _now_."

"I've already thought of that," Darunia said. "All trains were sent down to the Kakariko Station when we got your cry for help. There should be more than enough to get everyone back up Death Mountain."

_I thought this was a medieval fantasy,_ Mike thought perplexed. _Shouldn't they have guns when they have trains?_

"Will your forces be able to get back up the mountain?" Zelda asked, biting her lip.

"Yes, we should be fine," Darunia said. "We need to bring whatever trains are left over so Gannondorf can't use them to get up the mountain himself."

"Good thinking," Zelda said. "Can you get the signal out to everyone to start the evacuation."

"Yes," Darunia said. He hugged Zelda again. "Stay safe, little one."

"You too, Uncle."

Darunia rolled off to give the order and Zelda turned to Mike. "Come on, we got to go."

Zelda grabbed _Mike's_ arm now and pulled him up the town. When they got to the fork where it was the temple to the right, Zelda took left and Mike saw a large train station, with rails that went off in every direction, most notably up the mountain at almost a ninety degree angle.

"Come on, we got to make sure everything ready," Zelda said.

"Right," Mike responded. "Let's go."

They went up to the station and opened the doors. Big rock men were already there, wearing conductor and engineering hats. "Zelda!" One of them said. "We almost got everything ready for the mass train exodus."

"What do you still need?" Zelda asked.

"Enough Goron's to power the trains," He replied. "So you can sit down and relax while we wait."

"I feel a little guilty just sitting here while your brethren are fighting our battles for us," She replied. "But I thank you for your kindness in aiding us in our time of need."

"You are most welcome," The conductor said. "It's out pleasure to save King Hyrule's daughter, after all the things he's done for us."

Mike slumped in his seat, unwilling to pay attention to the conversation unfolding. He thought back to when the three's Triforce pieces were together. _That was the scariest thing that I've ever seen and I don't know why._ He examined his hand over, turning it and flexing it, watching the gauntlet that concealed his Triforce piece bend and move with his hand and fingers. _Since I got this thing, I just wanted to rip it out of my hand and throw it in the Hudson. But then it actually started to leave just now, and for whatever reason, it felt absolutely terrifying._

Mike gulped.

Soon, Hylian's and rock people who Mike guessed were called Goron's filled the station. Mike stood up with Princess Zelda and watched as people boarded trains. Eventually less and less people were in the stations as the town emptied and soon they were just left with one train with ten cars, two engineers and a conductor.

"Alright, that's everyone," Zelda said. "Let's go."

_Finally, _Mike thought.

They left the station and boarded the front car and Mike saw the two engineers hang their hats on hooks in the engineer compartment. They curled into a ball and mounted a pair of large metal wheels which had gear teeth on the outside.

_Well what do you know, _Mike thought with a chuckle. _The trains are powered by_ _Hamster wheels. That's hilarious._

Zelda led Mike into the front car and gradually made their way into one of the cars near the back. "This should be good. I don't want Gannondorf to know which car we're in."

"Great," Mike said, collapsing into one of the seats. "I need a freaking nap."

Zelda sidled into the seat across from him. "So…can I ask a question?"

Mike whimpered. "…no?"

"Just one, then you can take your nap," Zelda said. "…how did you feel as your piece of the Triforce was leaving you?"

"You mean this?" Mike put the back of his hand forward.

"Yes, that."

"I don't want to answer that question," Mike said."

"Well," Zelda paused before continuing. "Can I tell you how I felt?"

"Sure," Mike said, his eyes half closed in boredom.

"I felt like, for the first time in my life," Zelda said. "I didn't understand what was going on. I didn't comprehend anything anymore. I felt…stupid."

"Really?" Mike asked. "Why is that?"

"Because my piece is the Triforce of Wisdom," Zelda said. "It grants me wisdom, comprehension and a very keen intellect. Without it, it just feels like I don't understand much."

"…huh," Mike struggled to find the right words.

"I don't like it," Zelda frowned sharply. "I just can't stand that feeling of being an idiot."

Mike looked down. He thought for a few moments before speaking up. "I felt scared." Mike looked up with the eyes of someone about to meet Death into Zelda's. "It felt like every ounce spine and backbone I ever had was being sucked out of me. I felt alone, like no one around me understood what I was going through or wanted to know what I was going through. They just didn't care."

"That makes sense," Zelda said. "You're piece if the Triforce of Courage."

"Yeah, I guess," Mike replied.

"It must be hard, being-" Zelda began, but Mike's snoring had interrupted her. "Being away from your family and friends," she finished in a mutter and a frown. "I'm sorry."

Mike wasn't really asleep, but he wasn't paying attention, either. There was only one thought on his mind. _I'm not your savior._

_Author's notes: __**I HAVE RETURNED!**_

_Two years in the San Jose, California mission without being able to write or update my fanfiction, but in exchange I obtained a lot of life experience and understanding of my own beliefs._

_I celebrate my return, I wrote this to update my favorite fanfic. I hope there is a difference in my writing quality and I eagerly anticipate anyone who desires to share their critique and help me improve even further. I personally want to thank every person who reviewed in my two year absence and express my love for all my fans. My thanks especially goes to Evil Riggs, who continued to motivate me to write this fic and even defended me in my absence. Thank you._

_I hope you enjoy this fanfic. Please review! Thank you._

_~Fulcon_


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